Drive You DUMB Mommy DRIVE!

Well hello hello my Dear Darling Friend!  So FABulous that you stopped by... come make yourself comfy and let me fill your cup with a nice hot brew of, ‘Pay the Hell attention when you drive and put your stupid phone down!’  Hmmm... maybe that brew is a little toooo hot? Make sure you blow on it Dear, I don’t want you to burn yourself...

Keeping my gorgeous self fit is a must as I have a reputation to uphold, my long legs and tight abs are truly to die for!  One of my favorite ways to stay MILFy is by going out for an early morning run.  While running, I get to fantasize about getting locked in Sephora with no one there except me and every single lipstick... reds and plums... berries and pinks... corals and... huh?  Where did you come from?  OHhhh... that’s right, running!  I was getting there Darling... I just got a wee bit distracted!

Yes, yes running to stay my MILFyest!  The other morning I was making my way home back from my run when it happened... I, Caffeinated OC Mommy was a mere inch away from being flattened to the ground by some idiot Mommy who was not paying attention to me in the crosswalk, but looking at not her smart phone, but her DUMB phone!  What the heck?!  I saw my life and my  lipstick collection pass quickly before my eyes and at the same time... my feet were floating in midair doing a little jig to avoid the inevitable!  BUT... someone up above was looking out for moi as not a hair on my pretty little head was out of place when it was over and the only damage that occurred was my inability to breathe at that precise moment. 

So, listen up my Dear... do me a favor... I know you probably do, but just in case... put the phone down when you drive, it can wait until the car engine is turned off.  Drive safe for you, drive safe for your family and please drive safe when you see me fantasizing about my lipstick collection!  My cup is empty and all this talk about lipstick and fantasies has now motivated me to run quickly to the nearest lipstick aisle at my favorite place to buy peanut butter!  Off you go... Ta Ta for now Darling!  

Top 5 Things That Mommys Do That Make My Lipstick Smudge!

Hello hello my Darling Friend... Come sit down as I’ve got a topic that we need to revisit... hold on tight to that cup I’m about to fill up, as I’ve got some venting to do about poor parenting skills.  Hmmph... what is wrong with these Mommys lately?  Have they not read my previous Mommy Lessons?  What?  Oh yes, here... freshly brewed and quite heated, er, I mean HOT!

Have you noticed my Dear?  Have you noticed the quality or should I say, the lack of quality when it comes to being a good Mommy?  Where do these Mommys learn their parenting skills?  From the Real Housewives??  Sheesh, I can tell I’m gonna need a new lipstick after this little chat...

So here’s to new lipsticks!  Thank you very much... Now Darling, I know you know what I’m about to say and I know you’re not one of those... so please, just pass this post to that Mommy... you know... that Mommy?  Uh huh, the one who lets her 2 year old drink soda... the one who doesn’t watch her kid at the park and her back is turned... the one... oh alright already, let’s get started...

Top 5 Things That Mommys Do That Make My Lipstick Smudge!

#1- Feeding children chemically processed foods... you’ve seen it before, fake orange imitation cheese goop,  pretend healthy McDonald’s, red and blue # blah, blah, blah... artificial juice, OH, and let’s not forget soda!  How can a  good Mommy let her small child eat and drink foods that one can’t even pronounce the words on the label?  Rule of thumb... if you can’t identify or pronounce the words on the label, you probably don’t want to feed your most precious gift, manmade rubbish.

#2-  Letting the kids have full reign of the television.  Ummm... NO!  TV is not the same as it was when Gilligan’s Island and The Brady Bunch were all the rage.  The topics are spread far and wide, and most are NOT age appropriate.  Even the commercials of today are not suitable.  Does your child need to see a viagra add?  Or the upcoming highlights of the Dance Moms screaming at top lung?  Studies have shown that children cannot identify the difference between real and fantasy up until the age of seven years old.  Turn... the TV... off!

#3- Now that we just did the TV thing... same holds true for the radio.  Listen to the lyrics, you’d be surprised by how many songs are just not appropriate.  Now, I just adore a good MILFs night out, love all the naughty songs, however... there are many popular artists that are playing on the radio that no matter how many bleeps are in the song... does not belong in the environment of a young child’s ears.

#4- Ignoring their child’s persistent questions.  ANSWER THEM!!  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to throw my shoe at these Mommys!  These Mommys are teaching their own kids how to ignore somebody they love... to squash their child’s curiosity is a grave mistake made by many Mommys.  Yes, I know my Dear, it’s the same question over and over... but don’t make the child feel they can never come to you.  And that’s what’s going to happen when Mommys ignore their child.

#5-  When Mommys have no clue about safety issues.  This is the biggie for me Darling... as it should automatically be on the radar... but it’s not.  

I’ve seen a Mommy let her toddler play in the doorway of a busy restaurant while Mommy and company sat at a table nearby.  It was a heavy glass single door that connected to the street, the poor fingers or body even, that would get smashed in between the door and frame... or... the split second that the child decides that the street looked more interesting than the doorway. 

I’ve seen Mommys let their little ones stand in the seat part of the shopping cart while Mommy’s back is turned.  Oh no, don’t argue with me that these Mommys didn’t know... they knew perfectly well that their child was not strapped in!

Then there are the Mommys who go to a public restroom and the small child is standing in front of the door waiting... You stupid Mommy!  What are you gonna do when you’re sitting there on the pot with your panties around your ankles and you see your child’s feet suddenly disappear before your eyes??

It takes a blink of an eye for something horrible to happen and yet if common sense was used, none of the above issues would matter.  Sheesh... did these Mommys trade in their brains for a new baby?  I just don’t get it.

We’re already at five??  Goodness me, I could have rattled on another ten!  Shall I go... no, I’ll save it for another time.  Besides, I hear the lipstick counter calling my name, Caffe!  Ohhhhh Caffe!  Lipsticks await to calm your frazzled nerves....

See?  I knew I heard lipsticks calling me!  Well my Darling Friend, I know you’re an excellent Mommy and I know you would never do any of the above... Hey!  Why don’t you meet me at the lipstick counter and buy yourself a nice new shade to celebrate what a great Mommy you are?  Yes, good idea... We’ll just tell the Hubby it’s a gift in honor of being an excellent Mommy.  After all, we can always use a new lipstick for Mother’s Day...

Until next time my Lovely Friend... Have a Wonderful Mommy’s Day, even if your baby is a dog or a cat, or some goldfish... Ta Ta!  xoxo

PLEASE Don't Be A Clueless Mommy!

Hello my FABulous Friend... I’m SOOoo glad that you’re here with moi!  Make yourself comfy, and let me fill your cup with a fresh brew of, ‘Stupid Mommy, Pay Attention to Your Kid!’...

Yesterday I went to my favorite spot to purchase more peanut butter... little did I know that I would be needing to replenish my boxes of hair color too... standing in the aisle I got scared out of my wits and jumped right out of my Jimmy Choo shoes!  What scared the living daylights out of me was not another butt crack incident, but the unexpected sheer volume of a thunderous voice behind me... 

EMILY ROSE!!!!!  GET YOUR FANNY BACK OVER HERE THIS VERY SECOND... WAIT ‘TIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!!!!

Oh. My. Gawd!  Run child, RUN!!  No, I didn’t say this out loud for fear that this so called Mommy would put her hands on meeee and my precious contents in my shopping cart... it was less than a dozen lipsticks Darling, I promise!  

The child was... mmm... about 3ish...  3ish???  What the heck?  Really?  If this woman could scare the buhJesus out of me, a grown MILF, how must this child feel every time her Mommy calls for her?  And the worst part?  It’s the Mommy’s fault for not paying attention to her own child!!  

Clue #1 that this was the Mommy’s fault...

If a Mommy has a child that they know is a little escape artist, then STRAP THEM IN!!    Obviously, this particular child was not.  Nothing muddles my lipstick more than a Mommy screaming top lung at her little firecracker when all the Mommy had to do was put the child in the shopping cart.

Clue #2 that this was the Mommy’s fault...

The Mommy WAS NOT paying attention to where her child was.  Can we say, “Half the length of a football field not paying attention!”???  Ridiculous and absolutely uncalled for, no matter how quick those little legs could run.

Clue #3 that this was the Mommy’s fault...

When Mommys shop with their friends, sometimes top priorities get lost in the giggles of being with another Mommy.  Of course it’s FABulous being with another Mommy, but we still must remember our responsibilities... I know this was one of the many reasons for this Mommy’s lack of awareness when it came to her child, as I saw the friend come around the corner.

Well Darling, my lipstick is smudged and I don’t think I can stomach another cup!  Mommys who are unaware are setting a bad example for their own kids.  These Mommys are teaching their children that it’s okay to ignore responsibilities, take chances with another’s vulnerability and if all else fails, use forceful threats to make it right.  I don’t think so... 

Mommy Lesson moral for the day?  The same as always... Pay attention and be aware of your child’s environment.  We Mommys need to keep them safe until they can fend for themselves... not fend from their Mommy.

Until next time my Darling, stay FABulous... Ta Ta!  xoxo

Are YOU a Bad Gurl?

Hello my Dear Friend... So nice of you to drop by for a visit!  Make yourself comfy as I’ve got a zesty blend of, ‘What’s the definition of a Baaad Gurl?’ to fill your cup...

As you know, or maybe you don’t, but you’ll know now, I’m one of the little minions over at Blogaholic Social Network.  I’m the hostess with the mostess so I like to pretend and I help out by approving members, greeting them with my sincere charm and I’m also another pair of eyes to make sure that the site is running smoothly.  Why am I bringing this to your attention?  5 words... The Bad Girls of Blogging.

This group was formed over at BSN and being the Mini Celeb that I am, I was invited to join.  Meeee?   A Bad Girl??  Hmmm... I started thinking about what it means to be a Bad Girl of Blogging...

I have a post titled, Oral Contraceptives Should Be Hot Pink & Glow in the Dark!, would I want my Mother in-law to read it?

If I had to explain the definition of a MILF to my son, could I do it without my cheeks turning as bright as my brightest shade of lipstick?

Butt Crack... is that subject a bit taboo?  And then to do it twice...

Is it so wrong to write a Dos and Don’ts list for TPing someone’s house?

Am I a tease for not giving the details to the Peter Penis song?

Does preparing myself with valium and a Costco sized box of wine sound like a good idea?

And then there’s my bellybutton, yeah, okay... so I made some new friends with the valets.

Does infuriating a reader (okay, they’re definitely not my reader anymore!) make me bad?  

As I look over this list.... ummm... well... okay so I may not be quite the Mommy blogger per say... but Bad??  I think I prefer being called naughty... maybe mischievous?  Oh alright!  Yes, yes I am BAD... I’m so bad come on, you know the saying that I’m good, and Darling, I'm really good! 

Well my Dear Friend, my cup is empty and I’m off to make more mischief... I mean, well you know what I mean... fun!  I’m off to have more fun!  Come back and see me when my hand is out of the cookie jar... Ta Ta my Sweet! 

WARNING: This is a STRONG Brew of 'Mommys Who are Unaware'...

Hello Darling... Happy as always when you stop by!  I’ve got a fresh pot brewing and I think it may be a bit strong... 

Bad Parenting.  Oh my, that’s a couple of words that can set many Mommys into cardiac arrest.  But I have to do it my Dear, I have to say what’s on my mind and I know you won’t be offended as you are not one of those Mommys. 

Now Darling, I won’t beat around the bush, though I’d like to beat some of these Mommys over the head for behaving the way they do.  Yes my Dear, I am Caffe, and of course I adore my lipsticks and powdering my pretty little nose, but there’s only one thing that’s more important than my fabulous good looks... being a good Mommy.

There are several areas I’ve noticed that are lacking in good parenting skills... too much in fact to put into one post.  So let’s start this chat with a word that has been forgotten on the back burner and now needs to get stirred up a bit ... 

awareness |əˈwe(ə)rnis| 

noun

knowledge or perception of a situation or fact: we need to raise public awareness of the issue. there is a lack of awareness of the risks.

• concern about and well-informed interest in a particular situation or development: a growing environmental awareness. his political awareness developed.

But Caffe, what are you talking about?  The lack of awareness in parenting Darling!  Haven’t you noticed the Mommys that don’t notice?  The Mommys that don’t notice when their 18 month old is running away from them at the register in Costco?  Really?  There’s a remedy for that... it’s called... PUT THEM IN THE SEAT OF THE SHOPPING CART! 

The Mommys that don’t notice when they are standing in line with Grandma at the Starbucks in Target while their toddler runs to the rubbish can, rubs her hands around the rim (Eeew!), looks at Mommy, then bolts into the abyss of the $1 aisles by the entrance, a few feet away from the main entrance... This particular Mommy DID... NOT... SEE... HER... GO!  And what about Grandma?  She wasn’t paying attention either!  Now we know where this Mommy learned it from.

True stories.  I witnessed both within a few days of each other.  

Mommy in Costco held everybody up in line while retrieving her little firecracker, even though she was in the middle of a transaction.  Ummmm, yup, AWARENESS!

Mommy in Target searched for her ‘in plain sight’ little escape artist for 8, eight, EIGHT MINUTES!!!!!  How do I know this you ask?  I was in the same line watching my own Littlest, while watching this event unfold.  After I got my coffee, I actually stood by the entrance to make sure that the little one didn’t go out the doors. 

The thing that bothered me the most, was when Mommy finally got back to Grandma with child in arms, she was scolding the little girl!  I wanted to throw my shoe at this Mommy, but I was wearing a pair of Pradas! 

None of this would have happened if the Mommys paid attention to their most precious gifts.

The busy holiday season is coming upon us and we need more than ever to spread good cheer and remember today’s Mommy Lessons... AWARENESS.

My cup is empty, and I really don’t think I need another... besides, I need to look in the dictionary and find my next back burner word to stir up!  Until we meet again my Dear Friend... Ta Ta! 

P.S. I must send a warm Cups Up! to SoCalSweetheart, Theresa, over at A Shot Of Laughter ... She awarded me the Liebster Blog Award!  Thank you so much Theresa Darling and I will purchase a new shade of lipstick for this special honor...  Blowing Kisses...  xoxo

At Least Wait For A Red Light When Applying Lipstick!

Hello my Dear Friend, so delighted that you are here to visit!  I’m glad you made it here safely as the driving I witnessed today was quite awful!  I’ve got a freshly brewed pot of,

‘Why Are You Driving SO Friggin’ Fast?’ to fill your cup...

SLOW DOWN!  There... I said it.  And I’ll say it again, “SLOW DOWN YOU STUPID MOMMY... Your most precious cargo is in the car with you!!”  

I don’t get it.  Is our society in such a hurry to get from point A to point B that safety no longer matters even when children are in the car?  Have we lost our minds that when we get behind the wheel of our cars we become invincible?  And the business of driving has gotten so lax!  I constantly see Mommys doing the most ridiculous tasks while steering in a street full of traffic, or worse, on the freeway...  

Really?  You really need to check your text now?  

No, you’re dog doesn’t have a license!

Trying to discipline your child in the back seat when you are in the front seat driving is not a good idea.

You’re kidding!  A bottle of foundation?

Cigarette, coffee cup, and a bluetooth?  Is there a pair of hands on the steering wheel somewhere? 

Mascara and the phone in your ear?

Absolutely ridiculous Darling!  And these are the very culprits that are going mach 3000 in a parking lot where many children are running about, trying to get from one place to the next...  Tsssk, tsssk, tsssk!

I wish I had a button in my car that when pushed, a very loud bullhorn would appear and with a forceful voice coming over the speaker... “HEY, STUPID MOMMY!  STOP BEING SO STUPID!”  Then a sticker would appear out of thin air and land on their back bumper and permanently stay, no matter how hard they try to scrub it off.  It would read... UNSAFE MOMMY DRIVER... and after 6 months, depending on how well they’ve been driving, the sticker would start to fade.

How’s that wild idea?  lol

Well my Dear, my cup is empty and I need to get back and finish my prior project... I’m trying to scrub my back bumper, but no matter how I scrub it,  it doesn’t want to come clean!  Oh well... until next time my Darling... Ta Ta!

To Fasten Your Seatbelt... Insert Metal Clip Into the Buckle...

Hello Darling... Happy to have you here!  I’ve got a strong brew of , ‘Unsafe VW Mommy Driver’ to fill your cup today...

Oh you know you’ve seen Mommys like this before my Dear... You have, haven’t you?  Stop chuckling and pay attention!  Now you’re making me giggle... Yes, I know, we just had this conversation about unsafe Mommys in the parking lot at Target... and these Mommys drive too!!!  I already need a refill...

Driving in the far right lane of the 5 freeway, I was sitting in the passenger’s seat of my Hubby’s BIG truck (big truck, big tires... GRRRRR!  I know, silly huh?  Ask my Darling OBFF about this one!). 

Anyone who knows anything about driving on the freeways of California, know that when you drive in the far right lane on the freeway it means that you are... 

1. a slower vehicle 
2. about to exit the freeway 
3. constantly merging with other cars who are trying to get on the freeway

The rule of thumb for merging is simple... 

If you are on the freeway, continue your same speed and the car that is merging to get on the freeway either speeds up or slows down depending on what the traffic on the freeway is doing.  If there is slow traffic, merging is a ‘take turns’ unspoken etiquette between the cars on the freeway and those coming on.  So you would think...

Little VW Bug, very little, next to my Hubby’s BIG truck decides she is not going to play by the rules.  She speeds up in the shoulder lane and passes cars that are also trying to merge in barely moving traffic, forcing her way in her little VW Bug to get in front of our BIG truck.  Kind of like forcing your size 10 foot into a size 8 1/2 on sale, last pair of Prada boots. 

When BIG truck is slowly moving with the merge, BIG truck is now making little Bug feel like a squishy bug and squishy bug starts to scream in the form of a... beeeeeeeeep! 

BIG truck lets little Bug merge in front and as she does... left hand comes out of the window and gives everyone an I’m #1 salute!  As I looked in the windows of little Bug, I see Mommy in the driver’s seat and her other seats occupied with... yep, little ones.

Way to go Bug Mommy!  That’s what to do when you have your most precious cargo on board!  Teach them to take chances with car safety and make sure they do it with class...  

My cup is empty... I don’t think I’ll have another cup as this particular brew was a bit on the bitter side... Until next time my Dear, drive safely and watch out for those unsafe Mommy drivers!  Ta Ta! 

What Do I Know About TP???

Welcome, welcome Darling, I'm glad you're here as I'm always delighted when you come to visit!  It has been an absolute madhouse around here preparing my gorgeous self for a couple of upcoming, big social events and I need to sit down and catch my breath... let me fill your cup and I'll refill mine and let's chat about this coming Thursday...


I'm going out with the Swiffers Thursday night and I haven't had a good Mommys' Night Out in quite a long time.  As we all know, it's always difficult to get a dozen women together in the same room without children or a husband's schedule interfering into the mix and there is always someone missing from the group.  Ahhhh, MIA, missing from the group brings many fond memories to my mind as it's something that you never want to do in this group unless you want TP on your hedges!  Oooops!  Did I just say that?  I mean, toliet... no... paper... tea time... uhhh... okay... alright, I'll 'fess up!


It all started when half of our group didn't show up to play bunko one Friday night and between who was there, the chatting began... bits and pieces of information was starting to gel together and we all figured out that one of the galz was having a surprise birthday party for her hubby.  Now we all understand that these events happen and sometimes even on a bunko night, can't be helped... but where were the rest of the galz?  Hmmm... oh yes, one husband is a friend of the other husband and the next husband is friend of... well, you know where I'm going with this.  Then the fingers start to fly and the texts were going out left and right... by the time the texting was done, we knew exactly who was at the birthday party and who left their homes unattended.  Heee, heeee, heeee... I wonder how many rolls of TP will be needed to cover Dr. R's house?  Shall we find out? 




So if you ever decide to go out and TP your friend's house (how old are we again?), I have a few tips that will help complete your mission...

• Do bring a roll of TP for each member to participate, remember, it's teamwork after all.
• Don't decide at the last minute that you're not going to play and then everyone starts throwing their TP in your direction and now we are wasting time and throwing TP in front of the neighbor's window.
• Do throw the TP high in the air so that it gets waaaay up in the tall tree.
• Do try to be as quiet as possible so the neighbors don't hear you.
• Don't scream when the TP is falling to the ground from the tall tree and just misses your head.
• Do TP every single hedge you see and if you feel like TPing the fountain, Don't fall in and yell, "Awww sh#t!  These are my favorite shoes!"
• Do go quickly as we don't want the neighborhood dogs to start barking.
• Don't stand in the middle of the yard wondering how to decorate that rose bush and start trying to make everything look symmetrical, this is not a showing for the real estate buyers, Ms. Chess Piece!
• DO turn off you cell phone that plays Livin' La Vida Loca on extra loud because you can never hear your phone when your hubby is calling and on this particular night, the whole neighborhood now knows your favorite song. 
• And finally, Don't leave the car doors open so that the light stays on and everyone who is peeking out of their windows in the 'hood can see exactly who is decorating your good friend's home.

So that my Dear Friend is the first of many little mischievous adventures with the Swiffers.  We did eventually crash the birthday party, stole all their TP from their master bath and used it to TP the birthday boy's house.  Well, at least it wasn't a CMB (chicken milk bomb) that was left in his attic, that my Darling is for another story...

Thursday night will be here shortly... I wonder how many rolls of toilet paper will fit in the back of the car?  Oh, never mind... My my, my cup is empty, and I still need to figure out which lipstick I'll be wearing for Thursday night!  Come back again and we'll chat about something other than TOLIET PAPER.  Until next time my Darling, Ta Ta!

The Dos & Don'ts of the Summertime Mommy... The Sequel

Hello my Darling, always delighted when you stop by.  Come and sit down as I’ve got lots on my mind and I’ve brewed us a fresh pot of ‘What the Heck Are They Thinking?’  So let me fill your cup and let’s get started, I’ve got Mommy Lessons headed your way...

With the daily calendar pages flipping by so quickly and everyone busy, busy with their  summer schedules, Mommys are loosing their ability to act like responsible Mommys and I think the summer heat has something to do with it.  It seems to me that these Mommys have forgotten their Mommy roles and can’t find where they’ve placed it.  I’ve observed many empty-headed Mommys this summer from traveling to shopping to the parking lot, the restaurants, the mall... oh my stars, I’m seeing them everywhere and we have to do something about it as they are responsible for the upbringing of a future generation!

So I’m here to remind them (please pass this information along to the appropriate Mommys) that they are being held accountable by the COCM to take care of these matters and start behaving like a a good Mommy should.  I’d like to offer them a good swift kick in the as...s... butt to start up their brains and become more focused on doing what’s right for the whole.  I know my legs are long and gorgeous, but they’re not long enough to reach these Mommys who really need to feel the bottom of my foot.  So I guess I’ll get through to them with this post.  Here we go...

DO buy your preteen daughter a nice dress for the occasion.

DON’T go to La Diva, the store that dresses the Housewives of OC, and dress your preteen in a dress that says, “I’m a mini Gretchen Rossi and I’ll sleep with my best friend’s boyfriend!” 

DO be on time and pick up your children from their summer sports activities and wait in the car line that you can clearly see, is forming.

DON’T pretend that you are driving a compact car when you’re driving a "green" Ford Expedition and block the entire front entrance and the car line so that no one else can pass safely and now you’ve created a total traffic jam in the parking lot.

DO let your children be creative with their fashion choices for the summer.

DON’T let them leave out of the house looking like an MTV video with their pants hanging at knee level.  No one is interested in viewing what brand undies they have on and quite frankly, that particular fashion statement makes one look like they need their Mommy to help them dress.

DO go on outings with your teen daughter and her friend.

DON’T dress like them!  For goodness sakes, please be considerate of those of us that have to look at you and roll our eyes because you’ve decided to wear what Taylor Swift is currently wearing and your 40 something body is a dead give away that you’re not 22 and it just makes you look very.... OLD.  Find your own style and you’ll find that you’ve taken off 10 years from your age.

  

DO go on family trips and prepare yourself and your children for your inflight experience.

DON’T get on the airplane, block the aisle and slow down the entire boarding process while trying to figure out where your kids are supposed to sit.  When you receive your boarding passes and you see that the seat assignments are all over the place and you have little ones traveling with you, DON’T separate yourself from your children!  Really?  You’re really going to leave your 6 year old sitting between two strangers on a 2 hour flight?  Talk to the agent, talk to the flight attendant, but NEVER separate yourself from your little ones when traveling. 

Yes my Friend, I have witnessed all these little gems over the past few weeks and after revisiting them in my mind, I need a spa treatment to remove all toxins from my well kept body.  As a matter of fact, I need to set up my appointment right now... So excuse me and help yourself to more... We drank it all?  In that case, off you go... shoooo... until next time my Sweetness, Ta Ta!  

Who's Real?

I'm baaack! How do I look? I colored my hair, put on my brightest lipstick and my shoes even match my eyeshadow! I also snuck out for a quick errand to get some botox injections. You likeeeey?

That unfortunately, is the image that is painted by the media, the housewives who portray these type of women, and all those TV shows about the women of OC.