Hello my Dear Friend... SO happy you’re here! I know, I know, it’s been awhile and I’ve been neglecting you my Darling, and your cup has been empty for quite some time... I’ve been rearranging my lipstick collection and I’ve lost track of all my senses! You know I can’t restrain myself around all those fabulous tubes of color... Iced Plum, Sensual Scarlet, Pretty in Pink... aaaack! Oh my! I’m ready to go back to the store for more! ‘Control yourself Caffe!’
Oh, alright, enough about my lipstick obsession... How about a fresh pot of, ‘Parking Lot Safety‘ to fill your cup? I think you’ll enjoy this blend...
What is it about pulling into the parking lot of either Target, Costco, or Trader Joe’s that have Mommys losing their abilities to make sound judgements? Is there some sort of vortex that once you've cross the invisible driveway line, you become brainless?
Maybe it’s the summer heat that is affecting some of these Mommy brains, whatever the case may be, these poor Mommys are in need of a firm reminder of how to behave safely in a public parking lot. So I'm here to remind them...
When using the crosswalk with your little ones in tow and a new baby in the cart, DO complete your mission to get to the other side safely.
DO NOT stop 3/4 of the way in the crosswalk because you’ve run into a friend who hasn’t seen the new baby and now you’re having conversation and showing off the new baby while those of us in the car are waiting for you and would like very much to honk the horn (but I am much to kind as I didn’t want to startle your new baby) at your ridiculous judgement that is unsafe for your new baby and the toddlers around your ankles.... PHEWW! Was that a run on my Dear? I’m having self control issues today...
DO be aware of cars driving through the aisles and teach your children to pay attention as well. Safety should always be at the forefront when in a public parking lot.
DO NOT walk out into the aisle with your child without looking over your shoulder to see if maybe a big Suburban is driving toward you and now screeching on the brakes (okay, not really, but, it could happened) and the two of you continue to mosey along the middle of the aisle as if it’s a Sunday stroll on the boardwalk with an ocean breeze caressing your cheeks.
Maybe if I ran them over, I could set a precedent for other oblivious Mommys. But again, I am a good Mommy, and I need to show my fine, exemplary behavior to my children as I am teaching them how to deal with brainless people. And you know how many there are!
I think there should be cattle crossing signs at all Targets. Wouldn't it be fun if a Target employee of the month gets to dress up like a cowboy, put on a red Target shirt, has a lasso and rides a horse rounding up all those slooooooooooow and unsafe Mommys in the crosswalk? I would go to Target just to watch the round up!
Well my Dear, my cup is empty and I need to get back... to buy more... ‘No! I can control myself...’ Hmmmph. I figured since we were talking about brainless Mommys, you know, I thought about new lipsticks. Unsafe Mommys in the crosswalk= lipstick from Target! Did I mentioned that I’m obsessed? Until next time my Darling... Ta Ta!