What Do I Know About TP???

Welcome, welcome Darling, I'm glad you're here as I'm always delighted when you come to visit!  It has been an absolute madhouse around here preparing my gorgeous self for a couple of upcoming, big social events and I need to sit down and catch my breath... let me fill your cup and I'll refill mine and let's chat about this coming Thursday...


I'm going out with the Swiffers Thursday night and I haven't had a good Mommys' Night Out in quite a long time.  As we all know, it's always difficult to get a dozen women together in the same room without children or a husband's schedule interfering into the mix and there is always someone missing from the group.  Ahhhh, MIA, missing from the group brings many fond memories to my mind as it's something that you never want to do in this group unless you want TP on your hedges!  Oooops!  Did I just say that?  I mean, toliet... no... paper... tea time... uhhh... okay... alright, I'll 'fess up!


It all started when half of our group didn't show up to play bunko one Friday night and between who was there, the chatting began... bits and pieces of information was starting to gel together and we all figured out that one of the galz was having a surprise birthday party for her hubby.  Now we all understand that these events happen and sometimes even on a bunko night, can't be helped... but where were the rest of the galz?  Hmmm... oh yes, one husband is a friend of the other husband and the next husband is friend of... well, you know where I'm going with this.  Then the fingers start to fly and the texts were going out left and right... by the time the texting was done, we knew exactly who was at the birthday party and who left their homes unattended.  Heee, heeee, heeee... I wonder how many rolls of TP will be needed to cover Dr. R's house?  Shall we find out? 




So if you ever decide to go out and TP your friend's house (how old are we again?), I have a few tips that will help complete your mission...

• Do bring a roll of TP for each member to participate, remember, it's teamwork after all.
• Don't decide at the last minute that you're not going to play and then everyone starts throwing their TP in your direction and now we are wasting time and throwing TP in front of the neighbor's window.
• Do throw the TP high in the air so that it gets waaaay up in the tall tree.
• Do try to be as quiet as possible so the neighbors don't hear you.
• Don't scream when the TP is falling to the ground from the tall tree and just misses your head.
• Do TP every single hedge you see and if you feel like TPing the fountain, Don't fall in and yell, "Awww sh#t!  These are my favorite shoes!"
• Do go quickly as we don't want the neighborhood dogs to start barking.
• Don't stand in the middle of the yard wondering how to decorate that rose bush and start trying to make everything look symmetrical, this is not a showing for the real estate buyers, Ms. Chess Piece!
• DO turn off you cell phone that plays Livin' La Vida Loca on extra loud because you can never hear your phone when your hubby is calling and on this particular night, the whole neighborhood now knows your favorite song. 
• And finally, Don't leave the car doors open so that the light stays on and everyone who is peeking out of their windows in the 'hood can see exactly who is decorating your good friend's home.

So that my Dear Friend is the first of many little mischievous adventures with the Swiffers.  We did eventually crash the birthday party, stole all their TP from their master bath and used it to TP the birthday boy's house.  Well, at least it wasn't a CMB (chicken milk bomb) that was left in his attic, that my Darling is for another story...

Thursday night will be here shortly... I wonder how many rolls of toilet paper will fit in the back of the car?  Oh, never mind... My my, my cup is empty, and I still need to figure out which lipstick I'll be wearing for Thursday night!  Come back again and we'll chat about something other than TOLIET PAPER.  Until next time my Darling, Ta Ta!