Are YOU a Bad Gurl?

Hello my Dear Friend... So nice of you to drop by for a visit!  Make yourself comfy as I’ve got a zesty blend of, ‘What’s the definition of a Baaad Gurl?’ to fill your cup...

As you know, or maybe you don’t, but you’ll know now, I’m one of the little minions over at Blogaholic Social Network.  I’m the hostess with the mostess so I like to pretend and I help out by approving members, greeting them with my sincere charm and I’m also another pair of eyes to make sure that the site is running smoothly.  Why am I bringing this to your attention?  5 words... The Bad Girls of Blogging.

This group was formed over at BSN and being the Mini Celeb that I am, I was invited to join.  Meeee?   A Bad Girl??  Hmmm... I started thinking about what it means to be a Bad Girl of Blogging...

I have a post titled, Oral Contraceptives Should Be Hot Pink & Glow in the Dark!, would I want my Mother in-law to read it?

If I had to explain the definition of a MILF to my son, could I do it without my cheeks turning as bright as my brightest shade of lipstick?

Butt Crack... is that subject a bit taboo?  And then to do it twice...

Is it so wrong to write a Dos and Don’ts list for TPing someone’s house?

Am I a tease for not giving the details to the Peter Penis song?

Does preparing myself with valium and a Costco sized box of wine sound like a good idea?

And then there’s my bellybutton, yeah, okay... so I made some new friends with the valets.

Does infuriating a reader (okay, they’re definitely not my reader anymore!) make me bad?  

As I look over this list.... ummm... well... okay so I may not be quite the Mommy blogger per say... but Bad??  I think I prefer being called naughty... maybe mischievous?  Oh alright!  Yes, yes I am BAD... I’m so bad come on, you know the saying that I’m good, and Darling, I'm really good! 

Well my Dear Friend, my cup is empty and I’m off to make more mischief... I mean, well you know what I mean... fun!  I’m off to have more fun!  Come back and see me when my hand is out of the cookie jar... Ta Ta my Sweet! 

Lip Balm on Sandpaper... I Don't Think So!

Hello my Darling Friend... I’m SO pleased that you are here!  Make yourself comfy and let me fill your cup...  Today’s blend is a fine blend of, ‘You’re boring.  You’re bland.  Umm, not sure how many ways to say... “It taste like cardboard!”’

Caffe!  How rude!  Yes my Dear, I know that the cold, hard truth, can sometimes be... well... freezing!  Let me explain before you send out the cavalry...

I help a FABulous Mommy who has created a blogging social network called, Blogaholic.  Yes Darling, I’m on the admin team and I’m the hostess with the mostess greeting new members and answering whatever questions they have that I have NO IDEA what the answer is.  I’m a mini celeb there, and so naturally I get questions like these... 

Hi Caffeinated, 

because you have such a wonderful blog and you seem to have a lot of followers, will you stop by my blog and let me know what you think?  Thanks!  

Or this...  

Hi OC Mommy,

I was wondering, how do you get people to comment? I’ve had my blog for awhile now and I leave comments on other blogs, but it seems like no matter what I try I don’t have more comments or followers.  Any advice?

Why yes... yes I do have some advice... try not writing!  CAFFE!!!  WHAT??  Am I  SOoo wrong?  Save these poor souls from wasting their time!  Not all bloggers can write, some are excellent readers.  And not all bloggers have a good sense of design, just look at their sense of fashion in the photos they display for all to see!  Put the two together... it’s like wearing blue eyeshadow with a bright red lipstick... it’s just not pretty!

Oh, alright... I’m not that blunt when giving my opinion, but to give them pointers is quite, well... er... ummm... like putting lip balm on a piece of sandpaper!  Sandpaper will not soften no matter how much lip balm is used and it’s a very messy procedure...

So what do you tell them Caffe?  I ask them if they love it.  If they love it, then who am I to give advice?  But just in case they want more of a critique, I do have... drumroll please...

Caffe’s 3 Cs for Blogging...

1) Content- I know Darling, this is a bit obvious... but honestly, sometimes when I visit a new blog, the content is all over the place or it has none!  These blogs need a purpose, or not... if that’s what’s for breakfast... but if that’s the case, then it shouldn’t be a surprise to the blog owner that there’s not a whole lot of activity going on.  Good writing is what attracts a reader and keeps them coming back for more!

2) Keep it Clean!-  And I’m not talking about the writing itself... I’m talking about all the clutter in the side bars.  What a junk yard!  Blogs with a million widgets and pop up ads muddle my lipstick and drive me to click on the escape button ASAP!!  And if there are side bars on both sides of the actual post with this kind of hodgepodge... Eeeekkk... run away... run away... 

3) Consistency- Exactly!  You my Dear Friend, know that when you visit moi,  you receive a warm greeting each and every time you visit.  You also know that I’ll fill your cup with a few giggles, some complaining, and I’ll almost always find a way to add lipstick to my posts.  True?  True!  Even if the posts are random, the blog format for the most part, should remain consistent. 

Okay my Darling, my cup is empty and I need to go and powder my nose... I need to look absolutely gorgeous for my admiring fans... Huh?  Boring?  You?  Never my Dear Friend, besides... you have meee to keep you on your toes!  Until next time my non-boring friend... Ta Ta!