Saturday, October 29, 2011

WARNING: This is a STRONG Brew of 'Mommys Who are Unaware'...

Hello Darling... Happy as always when you stop by!  I’ve got a fresh pot brewing and I think it may be a bit strong... 
Bad Parenting.  Oh my, that’s a couple of words that can set many Mommys into cardiac arrest.  But I have to do it my Dear, I have to say what’s on my mind and I know you won’t be offended as you are not one of those Mommys. 
Now Darling, I won’t beat around the bush, though I’d like to beat some of these Mommys over the head for behaving the way they do.  Yes my Dear, I am Caffe, and of course I adore my lipsticks and powdering my pretty little nose, but there’s only one thing that’s more important than my fabulous good looks... being a good Mommy.
There are several areas I’ve noticed that are lacking in good parenting skills... too much in fact to put into one post.  So let’s start this chat with a word that has been forgotten on the back burner and now needs to get stirred up a bit ... 
awareness |əˈwe(ə)rnis| 
knowledge or perception of a situation or fact: we need to raise public awareness of the issue. there is a lack of awareness of the risks.
• concern about and well-informed interest in a particular situation or development: a growing environmental awareness. his political awareness developed.
But Caffe, what are you talking about?  The lack of awareness in parenting Darling!  Haven’t you noticed the Mommys that don’t notice?  The Mommys that don’t notice when their 18 month old is running away from them at the register in Costco?  Really?  There’s a remedy for that... it’s called... PUT THEM IN THE SEAT OF THE SHOPPING CART! 
The Mommys that don’t notice when they are standing in line with Grandma at the Starbucks in Target while their toddler runs to the rubbish can, rubs her hands around the rim (Eeew!), looks at Mommy, then bolts into the abyss of the $1 aisles by the entrance, a few feet away from the main entrance... This particular Mommy DID... NOT... SEE... HER... GO!  And what about Grandma?  She wasn’t paying attention either!  Now we know where this Mommy learned it from.
True stories.  I witnessed both within a few days of each other.  

Mommy in Costco held everybody up in line while retrieving her little firecracker, even though she was in the middle of a transaction.  Ummmm, yup, AWARENESS!
Mommy in Target searched for her ‘in plain sight’ little escape artist for 8, eight, EIGHT MINUTES!!!!!  How do I know this you ask?  I was in the same line watching my own Littlest, while watching this event unfold.  After I got my coffee, I actually stood by the entrance to make sure that the little one didn’t go out the doors. 
The thing that bothered me the most, was when Mommy finally got back to Grandma with child in arms, she was scolding the little girl!  I wanted to throw my shoe at this Mommy, but I was wearing a pair of Pradas! 
None of this would have happened if the Mommys paid attention to their most precious gifts.
The busy holiday season is coming upon us and we need more than ever to spread good cheer and remember today’s Mommy Lessons... AWARENESS.
My cup is empty, and I really don’t think I need another... besides, I need to look in the dictionary and find my next back burner word to stir up!  Until we meet again my Dear Friend... Ta Ta! 
P.S. I must send a warm Cups Up! to SoCalSweetheart, Theresa, over at A Shot Of Laughter ... She awarded me the Liebster Blog Award!  Thank you so much Theresa Darling and I will purchase a new shade of lipstick for this special honor...  Blowing Kisses...  xoxo

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Cups Up! Quote of the Week...

"It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time."  Tallulah Bankhead

Huh?, so that's why I never kept a diary!   

Friday, October 21, 2011

At Least Wait For A Red Light When Applying Lipstick!

Hello my Dear Friend, so delighted that you are here to visit!  I’m glad you made it here safely as the driving I witnessed today was quite awful!  I’ve got a freshly brewed pot of,
Why Are You Driving SO Friggin’ Fast?’ to fill your cup...
SLOW DOWN!  There... I said it.  And I’ll say it again, “SLOW DOWN YOU STUPID MOMMY... Your most precious cargo is in the car with you!!”  
I don’t get it.  Is our society in such a hurry to get from point A to point B that safety no longer matters even when children are in the car?  Have we lost our minds that when we get behind the wheel of our cars we become invincible?  And the business of driving has gotten so lax!  I constantly see Mommys doing the most ridiculous tasks while steering in a street full of traffic, or worse, on the freeway...  
Really?  You really need to check your text now?  
No, you’re dog doesn’t have a license!
Trying to discipline your child in the back seat when you are in the front seat driving is not a good idea.
You’re kidding!  A bottle of foundation?
Cigarette, coffee cup, and a bluetooth?  Is there a pair of hands on the steering wheel somewhere? 
Mascara and the phone in your ear?
Absolutely ridiculous Darling!  And these are the very culprits that are going mach 3000 in a parking lot where many children are running about, trying to get from one place to the next...  Tsssk, tsssk, tsssk!
I wish I had a button in my car that when pushed, a very loud bullhorn would appear and with a forceful voice coming over the speaker... “HEY, STUPID MOMMY!  STOP BEING SO STUPID!”  Then a sticker would appear out of thin air and land on their back bumper and permanently stay, no matter how hard they try to scrub it off.  It would read... UNSAFE MOMMY DRIVER... and after 6 months, depending on how well they’ve been driving, the sticker would start to fade.
How’s that wild idea?  lol
Well my Dear, my cup is empty and I need to get back and finish my prior project... I’m trying to scrub my back bumper, but no matter how I scrub it,  it doesn’t want to come clean!  Oh well... until next time my Darling... Ta Ta!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Do Those Inbreeding Savages Wear Lipstick?

Hello my Darling Friend... Absolutely thrilled that you are here!  Make yourself comfortable and let me fill your cup...
Being the fabulous Caffe that I am, I am constantly invited to participate in the many social circles in and around the online world such as groups in the blogger networks, like  one of my FAVs, BSN... Twitter, and my newest online mystery... Triberr.  What fun my Dear and how exciting to be a part of this ever changing, 24 hour chit chat party... Coffee refills for all! 
Being a blogger takes lots of work and time consuming dedication.... time that I don’t always have... BUT, I am always willing to try the latest and greatest, especially in the social circles and figure out how to use all these marvelous tools that are here at my disposal.  Good idea, right?  
Someone told me that Twitter would be such a lovely place for me.  I can tweet my newest shade of lipstick to all who would follow me.  How divine!  Where do I sign up?
 Once I signed up, I started tweeting to my hearts content... ummm, yeah, not so sure about the new lingo or what the rules are.  Who are these people anyway?  OH, a message?  How do I find it?  Follow who?  And now be a part of your Tribe?  Another invite?  How wonderful!  I’m such a celebrity!  Huh?  Join Triberr?  I thought it was Twitter... am I missing something here?
Well of course I’ll accept your invite to Triberr!  Wait a sec... inbreeding? and what? Bones?  Eeeeew!  Really?  Wait a second, hold on... S... O... S... HELP!!
Overload... Overload... Overload...
So at this point, I’ve deleted my Twitter, left the bon fire of Triberr and went to my favorite place to buy peanut butter!  I’ve decided that I like being a celebrity... but on my own terms and with the right shade of lipstick on my lips...
Did I say, “lipstick?”  Oooh, that’s my cue to shoo you out of here and head on over to the nearest cosmetic aisle...  Until next time my Dear... Ta Ta!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Broken Hearted Floozy

Hello Darling... I'm SO happy you're here!  Come let me fill your cup, as I need to sit and chat with you about something that's been tearing me apart... I need you my Dear Friend and I know that you being here will make me feel SO much better!

It's horrible!  This feeling that has come over me lately... I'm so torn, first I'm madly in love and I'll do anything, anything I tell you to keep this relationship going.  I thought it was going well, then I felt, well... used!  I thought it was all me, so I decided to play coy and bat my pretty little eyelashes, to no avail... I tried playing naughty, I put on my best and brightest fuchsia lipstick, played hard to get... nope, and then when I least expect it... I get a little bit of attention and the next thing you know, I'm lit up like a 100 watt light bulb!  What a tease!

And then the floozy in me wants more... the game starts all over and I feel used once again.  What did I do wrong?  I played by the rules, maybe I shouldn't?

I'll wait for Monday, should I do it?  Should I play?  There's always Wednesday or Thursday, or Friday... maybe play just on the weekends.  I don't know if it's worth it.

These darn blog hops... they're such a heartbreak! 

My cup is empty and I have nothing left... BUT... I do have you my wonderful Dear Friend, and you always puts a smile on my face, even if my lipstick gets a little bit smudged!  Come back soon my Darling... Ta Ta!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Cups Up! Quote of the Week...

"Well-behaved women rarely make history."  Laurel Thatcher

Well in that case Darling... they'll make novels about my life... 

Monday, October 10, 2011

JoJo Is A Rock Star!

Hello my Dear Friend... I’m glad you’re here, come get comfy and let me fill your cup... I’ve got much to chat about as I went out with the Swiffers this past Friday night and let me tell you, it is never a dull moment when a group of MILFs are out on the town...  
Upon entering the hidden little smoke filled pub, little did I know that Patsy’s is a top 10 in South OC... A top 10?  How exciting and of course I wore my best lipstick as this is something right up my alley... a top 10... DIVE BAR!  lol  Who knew?  Well, we’ll give it a try and stay for a bit, we could always go somewhere else if the urge strikes.
JoJo greeted us with the biggest set of... uh... I mean... she had the biggest smile with a great big personality to go with, yep, that’s what I meant!  Dr. R ordered up the food with JoJo while the rest of us sipped on our drinks and took in the sites.  Hmmm... shamrocks and His Self?  OH, there’s the Her Self!  
An Irish Pub?  Really?  Like there’s dancing here!  Where’s the dance floor?... on top of the pool tables?  Besides which, I’m not doing the River Dance and clogs definitely are not in my wardrobe!  Come on gurlz, let’s get out of here!
Oh my, when a group of MILFs get up and are ready to leave, you should see the hup two of the staff making room for the soon to be dance floor... meaning, kick out the dinner patrons, move the tables and chairs, and voila!  A dance floor!  Now that’s more like it... so now where is this DJ person?  I’m ready to wiggle, wiggle, wiggle...
A few drinks later and... heck, I’m feeling like I’m at the Ritz!  No need to go anywhere, JoJo is keeping our cups full of Kettle Orange and tonic (yummy) and the DJ is playing, I’m sexy and I know it... I just adore LMFAO!  Dancing wasn’t the only thing that kept this group entertained... let’s talk about the conversations...
  • What?  You bought an EPT and a bottle of wine?
  • No silly, it’s a divorce party!
  • If you don’t want to look like an ex-stripper at 60, don’t go that big!
  • Oooh, so soft... I just wanna touch you!
  • No, we’re lesbians.
  • Do you have a hard on?
  • Who are all these people, and why are they here?
I LOVE my Swiffers!  What a fabulous time and I can’t wait for the next!  So Darling, when’s your next Mommys’ Night Out?  Soon I hope, and I can’t wait to hear all about it!  Until next time my Dear Friend... Ta Ta! 

Friday, October 7, 2011

Cups Up! Quote of the Week...

"Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick."  Gwyneth Paltrow 

Kick-ass red... or hot pink... a bold mauve... I think Gwyneth and I would make great friends!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Lick, Salt... And The Backdoor?

Hello my Dear Friend... Wonderful to have you here!  I’ve got a new blend to fill your cup today... I think I’ll brew this blend every so often when I’m feeling... nostalgic.  
Now what are you filling my cup up with this time Caffe?  
Well Darling, the pre Hubby/Kids Caffe had many, many mischievous escapades and quite honestly, I have no idea how I got away with my many antics and live to tell about it!  Sooooo... I’m sharing with you Darling... these highly sensitive, top secret, naughty, naughty, tales from the past known as, The Caffe Capers! 
Oh how I longed to be the magical age of ((21))... I was always the young one in the group and even though I had been living on my own for more than several years, to my lovely eyes, ((21)) was the key to true grown up freedom.  Oh, alright Darling, the freedom to drink to my hearts content and do it legally!  
Isn’t it funny how we think something is so important and then we kind of... sort of... grow up and our priorities change?  Except of course my lipstick habits... bright red, mauve, pretty pinks... I can’t believe I did it again... I’ve mentioned the word ‘lipstick’ and I forgot what I was talking about!  Caffe, get it together!
Where was I?  OH, slipping in through the backdoor... no... wait a minute, ah, here we go... licking the top of my hand I was prepared, so that when the back door opened and the known stamped hand extended toward me, we would do the hand kiss and hopefully the stamp would transfer...  Okay, you seem confused, and I think I got ahead of myself??
We didn’t talk about sneaking in through the backdoor?  OH, I guess we have now... lol 
Did I do it?  Did I stealthily get into places that I couldn’t get my pretty little self in through the front door because I wasn’t quite ((21))?  Oh Darling, I am Caffe after all!  Oh come on, don’t roll your eyes... you would have done it too!  It was adventurous!  The thrill of possibly being caught and the victory of being inside...  What?  I knew I wasn’t the only one stealing my way in through the backdoor! 
Well my Darling Friend, this pot of ‘Caffe Capers’ is empty... but don’t worry, I have lots in the pantry of my mind... Maybe next time we’ll chat about bar room brawls and the MILFs who start them... Until next time... Ta Ta!

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