Yoo Hoooo! MILFy! Come Out Come Out Wherever You Are!

Well Hello my Dear Friend... I am delighted that you’re here to visit!  What?  Where’ve I been? I have been busy picking myself up out of the New Years blues!  Can you believe it?  Little ole me has been feeling like... like... A NON-MILF!!  No, not you Caffe!  Yes, yes, ME!  Come make yourself comfortable, let me fill your cup and fill you in...

It all started with this dreaded cold I got the day before Thanksgiving, yes, I still cooked  a FABulous meal and looked divine doing it, but I was definitely moving in slow motion all day long... all week long... all through December long...

I’ve had this stupid runny nose thing for how long now?  When was Turkey Day again?

 Then Christmas Day came and brought me a new gift, no, not a collection of the hottest shades of lip color... a twitch in and around my left eye.  Ummmm, okay... I’ve had this type of thing happen before, it’s temporary, lasting, mmm... about 5 minutes... 2 weeks later, I now have a twitchy eye, a runny nose, and now within the past week, my normally beautiful, healthy skin has decided to ITCH like no tomorrow!  At any time, on any place of my body, the urge to scratch has been driving me to drink more Eagle Rare!  What the heck is going on??? 

I’m not feeling very MILFy like, and my imagination has gotten the better of me!  I’ve envisioned people staring at me and my twitch, and in my oh, so, creative mind, the twitch becomes one of those neck jerker type twitches and then the spontaneity of an aggressive itch calls my name from a deep location within my arm pit while at the same time I’m wiping my nose on the sleeve of my blouse!  Eeeeeeeeeww!  This is all to much for a MILF named Caffe!

So needless to say, my MILF morale is not in proper working order.  

I got tired of feeling this way and the other day I made up my mind that enough was enough already... I want my sassy self back and decided to get myself busy and kick this feeling in the ass!  


So I have been doing just that... I got on my spin bike and blasted some 808 bump into my earbuds for 40 minutes, then went to the salon and got my hair did... 3 days of spinning and a shiny new do, the twitch is gone, the itching has slowed down, my nose is back in order and once again, I’m feeling like a HOT MILF for all those Husbands to look at!!!

Oooh, I am feeling much better thank yooou!  

So here’s to kicking ass, maybe it’s a sign of the year to come... oh boy, LOOK OUT WORLD, Caffe is IN the HOUSE!!  Until next time my Darling Friend, TA TA!

RUN!!! Caffe Had A FULL Pot!

Hello hello my Dear Friend... Welcome and it’s such a pleasure to have you here!  How’s everything going for you?  Good I expect, as the beginning of the New Year is always a hopeful time.  Speaking of hopeful, I’m hoping to see better parenting skills over the next 11 months... Uh oh, I think we’re about to find out how much caffeine Caffe’s been drinking!

Ah yes, the New Year... out with the old... in with the new or renewed Mommy Lessons that all have forgotten in the past and need to be reminded about once again!  I’ve got a strong blend today that will make most Mommys cringe with the uncomfortable feeling that their panties are in a tight wad!

 Yes Darling, I know that you’ve mastered these lessons, but I’ve been noticing on a daily basis how lazy and downright ignorant parenting has become!  So forward this lesson on to those who need a little reminder of what good parenting is all about.  Let’s get started...

First of all, this is a huge lesson... so we’ll have to take this in small, manageable increments, one topic at a time, to fully grasp why each subject is so important.  There is not one that is more important than the other, they all intermingle when it comes to being a good Mommy.

Topic #1-  Stop letting media dictate the environment of your household.  YOU are the Mommy of your house, keep your environment the way you want your children to be nurtured.   

Did you get that?  Media- AKA... (1)shut the friggin’ TV off!! (2)not all radio station are appropriate, change the channel! (3)magazine covers are NOT for all eyes!

(1)shut the friggin’ TV off!!- Okay, pretty self explanatory, but I have to remind Mommys that TV is just not the same as it was in the past.  TV was a friendlier place with news that was actually tactful and didn’t show everything and  sitcoms actually had some morals to it.  I mean, yes, of course it was fiction, but I’d much prefer the way relations worked on shows such as Family Ties, The Cosby Show, even Friends over the inept social/family behaviors of the Kardashians, The Jersey Shore, or one of those Housewives Shows.  Period.  

The Kardashians or shows that are similar, make one feel... well, that it’s okay to have no values, to be deceitful, that it’s all about the money.  Is that really the behavior that a good Mommy wants to emulate or have her children be a part of?  I think not, and media really puts it in your face to make a buck and everyone seems to be buying it, even the new Mommys.  Turn it off and put on some Vivaldi.

(2)not all radio station are appropriate, change the channel!- There are songs on the radio that would drop your Granny’s jaw to the ground!  Songs today talk freely about smoking weed, tonight I’m bleeping you (like you can’t tell what the bleep is!), strippers on a pole, touch my bleep, whips and chains, run faster than my bullet... is this really what we want our children to hear?  I don’t have a problem with these songs when I’m in the car alone, but when it’s on a top rated radio station that anybody can click on the switch, even your 6 year old... then that’s a problem as these lyrics aren’t meant for them!  Good Mommys pay attention and are aware of lyrics to popular songs on the radio.  You think you’re kids aren’t listening?  Think again and change the channel!

(3)magazine covers are NOT for all eyes!- Please, for the love of bright, bold lipstick... do not leave gossip magazines all over the coffee table for your little ones to see!  Do you really want your little Monkey gazing at the images and taking in scandalous photos with big, colorful text... SNOOKIE CAUGHT IN SEX VIDEO TAPE WITH HER 2 ROOMATES!... well, not sure if that was a real headline, but it could be!  


Pay attention to what’s in plain view to your children.  Do they really need to be exposed to such negativity and think later on in their lives that this kind of smut is the norm?  Sheesh, I hope not!

Our children are our future.  Help them succeed in becoming caring adults by keeping your household environment gentle, genuine, and kind... isn’t that one of the many goals of good parenting?

My cup is empty and I’ll be brewing up another blend of ‘Mommy Lessons’ in the very near future.  So in the meanwhile, tell me Darling, how do you deal with negative media?  Until next time my Dear Friend... Ta Ta!

Sexy MILF... Need I Say More?

Hello my Darling Friend!  Sooo happy that you're able to stop by and fill your cup one last time before the year is over.  


Can you believe it?  In just a few days we will lift our cups to the memories of 2011, and toast to the hopes and dreams of what 2012 will bring.  And I personally would like 2012 to bring me a lipstick shade named after... Moi!  How 'bout it?  wink wink


2011 definitely brought some fun memories here at Caffeinated OC Mommy, I got the chance to meet some FABulous bloggy friends (which of course you are at the top of my list) and giggle my pretty little head off with so many witty comments and charming perspectives.  And let's not forget about all those creative adjectives that I like to use quite frequently... Butt Crack, MILF, Floozy, Smudged... which brings me to... the #1 post of 2011!!  Caffe, how did that bring us to the #1 post?  Because I said!  And it makes perfect sense to me...


Out of all the posts of 2011, leaving the rest behind... I'm Hot, You're Not!  Become A MILF in 5 Easy Steps takes the #1 spot!  Wow!  Now I know what's on your mind!


So here's to sexy MILFs strutting their stuff in 2012!  Cups Up Darling!!  xoxo

Cup's Up! Quote of the Week...

"Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."  Mae West

Hmmm... New Year's resolution, try something new...  I know!  How about a new shade of lipstick!

Holiday Kisses Blowing Your Way...

Hello my Darling Friend... Tis the season to wish you a most FABulous Christmas!  I'm off to enjoy my family, you do the same!  Cups Up!  xoxo

Holiday Schedule+Chaos = More Lipsticks for Caffe!

Well Helloooo my Darling Friend... I’m absolutely thrilled that you found your way here!  With the holidays in full swing, schedules are a chaotic mess and I need to clone myself to be everywhere for each member of the family at... of course... the same time!  But wouldn’t that be fun?  I could wear more than one lipstick color at any given moment!

Caffe, how do you do it?  How are you able to insert ‘lipstick’ into any topic of conversation!

Because I’m Caffe Darling!  I’m a compulsive lipstick fiend that can’t even remember what I’m talking about as soon as I mention, lipstick... Lipstick, hmmmm... oh yes, I have many shades of pinks, berries, some reds, sheers... What were we talking about again?

Well, since we’re on the subject of lipstick... I found some wonderful lipsticks that you could use!  Imagine that?  I actually thought of you while lipstick shopping for me!  

OH... now I remember what we were talking about!... Hectic, busy schedules, that’s where I left off... so hectic in fact that I’ve completely run out of time and I’m leaving before I’ve even filled your cup!  But help yourself to some brew... I’m off to my next rendezvous... shopping at my favorite place to buy more peanut butter ... TaTa!

Holiday Shopping...

Yes Darling, I'm off to the stores... Be back just as soon as I find every single shade of color for my lips cross off every gift off my list!   xoxo

Not Again! The Butt Crack Chronicles Revisited

Hello my Dear Friend... I’m SO delighted to be feeling much better and filling your cup once again!  Today’s brew is a delicate blend of, ‘Just say no! mixed with Do you know what you look like from behind?’ to fill your cup...

Just before I got this wicked cold, I went to the market to buy lots of ginger and garlic to put into a pot of chicken soup... Littlest had the sniffles and I was hoping the soup would not only help her out, but maybe keep the entire family from getting sick as well.  My Grandmother believed in the magic powers of ginger and garlic to help keep our bodies healthy during the cold season... so I was on my way to the store to purchase some of this magic.

This should be an easy peasy errand... go to the market, get ginger, OH, looky here, the garlic is right there next to the ginger... let me get one more box of chicken broth, just in case... now off to the checkout counter. 

Standing in line I couldn’t help but observe the Mommy with her stroller directly in front of me.  Nothing strange and unusual about that.  I noticed that she used the underneath of her stroller to place her items in, instead of using a cart.  Yep, I used to do that all the time too, especially when you only have a few things to purchase.

And then she started to bend over to retrieve her goods... OH  NO  SHE DIDN’T!!!  It was deja vu and I was back in the Target parking lot with Littlest in tow. 

 Shock took over my body and my vision must have been temporarily impaired as I stood behind her perplexed... Am I looking at Joe the Plumber’s twin sister?, or worse... his wife?  And now they have a little one in the stroller that will one day be showing off his crack in the 'rear' future to the horror of the many who will stand behind him... Why yes, yes I did see Joe and a good three... THREE inches of crack staring back at me and my garlic!!  

My body was motionless, yet my mind was screaming into a megaphone... STOP!  PLEASE!  You only have 4 items, can’t you take them all out at once?  What?  NO, not again!!  You’re ruining my lipstick! 

Her crack-a-lantern was within an arms reach of me and if I were playing for the LA Lakers, I could have slam dunked my garlic cloves right down the middle and I could have earned extra bonus points for fitting the ginger pieces in as well... Double the points for the box of chicken broth!

Unloading these 4 items seems to take her forever and I don’t even know if I’m still breathing... I think.... I think.... I think the magic powers of the ginger and garlic I was holding in my hands was not working, and I soon realized there are limitations to what ginger and garlic can ward off.  I don’t think this was the type of magic my Grandmother was referring to!

Well Darling, I must be feeling better to fix you a cup like this!  Refill?  No?  I guess you’re right, I don’t want another cup either.  Before you leave, I must do my duty as any good Mommy would... turn around, bend over... phewww... okay, you’re good!  Until next time my Dear Friend... watch out for unsuspecting cracks in your daily activities... TaTa! 

Sniffle... Cough... Sniffle...

Ahhhh...CHOOOOOO!  Sniffle, sniffle... cough, cough... sniffle, sniffle... I'll be back as soon as my nose isn't the same color as my favorite lipstick...

Cups Up! Quote of the Week...

"Chocolate, men, coffee - some things are better rich."  ~Author Unknown





Just like my rich shade of sparkly plum lipstick!