Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Dos & Don'ts of the Summertime Mommy... The Sequel

Hello my Darling, always delighted when you stop by.  Come and sit down as I’ve got lots on my mind and I’ve brewed us a fresh pot of ‘What the Heck Are They Thinking?’  So let me fill your cup and let’s get started, I’ve got Mommy Lessons headed your way...
With the daily calendar pages flipping by so quickly and everyone busy, busy with their  summer schedules, Mommys are loosing their ability to act like responsible Mommys and I think the summer heat has something to do with it.  It seems to me that these Mommys have forgotten their Mommy roles and can’t find where they’ve placed it.  I’ve observed many empty-headed Mommys this summer from traveling to shopping to the parking lot, the restaurants, the mall... oh my stars, I’m seeing them everywhere and we have to do something about it as they are responsible for the upbringing of a future generation!
So I’m here to remind them (please pass this information along to the appropriate Mommys) that they are being held accountable by the COCM to take care of these matters and start behaving like a a good Mommy should.  I’d like to offer them a good swift kick in the as...s... butt to start up their brains and become more focused on doing what’s right for the whole.  I know my legs are long and gorgeous, but they’re not long enough to reach these Mommys who really need to feel the bottom of my foot.  So I guess I’ll get through to them with this post.  Here we go...
DO buy your preteen daughter a nice dress for the occasion.
DON’T go to La Diva, the store that dresses the Housewives of OC, and dress your preteen in a dress that says, “I’m a mini Gretchen Rossi and I’ll sleep with my best friend’s boyfriend!” 
DO be on time and pick up your children from their summer sports activities and wait in the car line that you can clearly see, is forming.
DON’T pretend that you are driving a compact car when you’re driving a "green" Ford Expedition and block the entire front entrance and the car line so that no one else can pass safely and now you’ve created a total traffic jam in the parking lot.
DO let your children be creative with their fashion choices for the summer.
DON’T let them leave out of the house looking like an MTV video with their pants hanging at knee level.  No one is interested in viewing what brand undies they have on and quite frankly, that particular fashion statement makes one look like they need their Mommy to help them dress.
DO go on outings with your teen daughter and her friend.
DON’T dress like them!  For goodness sakes, please be considerate of those of us that have to look at you and roll our eyes because you’ve decided to wear what Taylor Swift is currently wearing and your 40 something body is a dead give away that you’re not 22 and it just makes you look very.... OLD.  Find your own style and you’ll find that you’ve taken off 10 years from your age.
  
DO go on family trips and prepare yourself and your children for your inflight experience.
DON’T get on the airplane, block the aisle and slow down the entire boarding process while trying to figure out where your kids are supposed to sit.  When you receive your boarding passes and you see that the seat assignments are all over the place and you have little ones traveling with you, DON’T separate yourself from your children!  Really?  You’re really going to leave your 6 year old sitting between two strangers on a 2 hour flight?  Talk to the agent, talk to the flight attendant, but NEVER separate yourself from your little ones when traveling. 
Yes my Friend, I have witnessed all these little gems over the past few weeks and after revisiting them in my mind, I need a spa treatment to remove all toxins from my well kept body.  As a matter of fact, I need to set up my appointment right now... So excuse me and help yourself to more... We drank it all?  In that case, off you go... shoooo... until next time my Sweetness, Ta Ta!  

15 comments:

  1. After reading all of that I need a spa treatment too! Phew woman!!

    Kelly @ My Joy Project
    http://myjoyproject.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. “I’m a mini Gretchen Rossi and I’ll sleep with my best friend’s boyfriend!”

    This made me guffaw out loud. Funny, yet sad.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kelly Darling, I couldn't help myself... it was like a snowball effect with this topic! Cups Up! xoxo

    Darling, Darling VV, of COURSE you're a mini Gretchen, as you should be! You're a single hottie that can pull off those Victoria Secret's dresses, even if you are sleeping with your friend's boyfriend... lol xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. People separate themselves from their children on a flight? What the...? I guess I can understand the appeal, but to actually do it???

    ReplyDelete
  5. ahahaha.....i would NEVER leave my kids on a flight all by their lonesome, even at 18! Gosh...the clothing these days, is horrible! u r sooooo right! ew.....get classy not trashy! i totally hear you mama:) dealt with all these toooooo! where's the brains is right!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I only WISH I had a teen daughter so that I could compete with her and try to stuff my sz 14 ass into juniors clothing again. KIDDING! hehehe

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are hilarious and helpful. So, you're saying when I'm flying with my children, it's not OK to sit my screaming toddler between strangers and pretend like I don't know him?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mommy Inc., it's actually not the families who spread out the seating, it's the airline companies. This happened to a friend of mine. But as COCM suggested, my friend DID call the plane company and managed to get Mommy sitting with 1 child and Daddy sitting with another, though the two groups were far apart. Airline companies are awful, these days... at first, my friend was told by the airliner that it was impossible to seat them together. But she did get them to relent, finally.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Caffeinated OCM, you are too funny and so very wise! And ain't that the truth about the pick up service in the giant SUV blocking the entrance way!

    I have to add this one: my son's class is after a younger kids' class and I when I dropped him off, I saw one of the little kids from the earlier class waiting outside, in the dark, for a pick up. I couldn't stand it, so I waiting around in the lot to make sure this child would be safe. The mom came 15 minutes later and when she got out of the car, she was super sexed out and manicured and toned. Clearly, she cares a lot more for herself than her child!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've had many a fantasy about calling a tow company on SUV drivers who block the parking lot off so the rest of us can't get to our kids. Glad I found you via Bloggy Moms, because I love reading you!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Goodness me! I've stepped away for a bit and I see I've had some visitors...

    Jill Darling, yes, I really saw the woman leave her 6 year old. I know as lucky for her the stranger happened to be my Hubby! I have the urge to powder my nose overtime I think about it! xoxo

    So nice of you to stop by Vic Sweetie... I think all the brains are over your place FTLOB!! Cups Up! xoxo

    Now Artsy Darling, why haven't we chatted before? From your comment, you are definitely a friend of Bernie's!!! lol Loved your cabin post... xoxo

    GGM my Dear, I know you're pulling my leg! You might think it, but YOU would NEVER do that! lol xoxo

    AOCM Darling... so nice of you to stop by! Love all your stories, especially when it's all "sexed out"!!! lol xoxo

    Welcome Ava Dear, what a wonderful daydream to have while being stuck behind the Mom in the green Expedition... Cups Up! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  12. I've encountered those moms at my kids' camp too many times this summer. They dress just like the 10-yr-old daughter that they are picking up and they totally f-up the pickup system...like the rules we're all following in our cars don't apply to them. Grrr!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well Hello Jennifer Darling, Thanks for stopping by! This post is most definitely the vent post... Cups Up! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  14. As usual... you hit the nail on the head in your fantastically witty way! Totally enjoyed this one! Thanks for coming by today and refilling my mug!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lovely MC, SO delighted to see you again! I'm sure you've been having a most fabulous summer... xoxo

    ReplyDelete

Hello Darling,

Have you seen the latest collection of lipstick colors?? Oooooh, I can't help myself! Thanks for stopping by... xoxo

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...