Brewing Fresh & Sometimes Humorous Perspectives From the Sunny Location of Southern California...
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
This Sucks Harder Than a Tornado!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Monkey Repellent, Valium, Jimmy Choo Water Shoes...
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
I'm HOT, You're NOT! Become a MILF in 5 Easy Steps
- Show some skin. Yes my Darling, you read it right. You are not Mary Mother of God, for goodness sakes have some fun! Wearing sweatpants and a long sleeve T with a hoodie, no matter how colorful and coordinated it is, has NO sex appeal. None... Nada! And those leggings with a big shirt, are never, NEVER in style. It makes one look like cotton candy, you know, floaty, big on top, and a skinny holder at the bottom. Not a flattering look and NO it does not cover what you are trying to hide. Put on something fitted every so often, maybe a v neck with a favorite necklace. Be beautiful and be the sensual woman that you are and wear something flattering.
- Put on some lipstick. “But Caffe, it takes too much time!” I am not going to let you off the hook on this one. A little bit of sheer color added to those wonderfully, kissable lips can go a long way and it takes 30 seconds to apply. While you’re at it, add a stroke of a neutral color across your big, flirty, eyelids and top it off with a quick coat of mascara. Done. All in 5 minutes. Now go experiment and bat your pretty little eyes at the mailman or the grocery store clerk and see if you don’t get a smile from them.
- Put on something fragrant. I’m not suggesting that you spray an entire bottle of Coco Chanel to take your kids to the park, but I am encouraging you to smell pretty. It may be a wonderful smelling lotion, or a light perfume that reminds you of a hot night with the one you love. Hot, hmmm... heat or sexy?, your choice! The power of scent is as old as the “oldest profession” known to mankind. Well that’s an interesting thought!
- Colorful panties. Again, stop staring at the words like you don’t know what I’m saying and close your mouth. Come on girlz, it’s just soooooo much fun to wear sexy little undies that only YOU know about! Maybe share a peek with those who might be interested in what color you have on today. You don’t have to wear a thong if that’s not your thing... but DO wear something that makes you feel girly. I don’t care if you’re 62 years old. Have fun, be sexy, wear some fun leopard print and let your inner animal shine through!
- Attitude. That’s right. Another word for attitude, sex appeal. Sexy is good! A very close friend of mine says that to me all the time, and do you know what? It's true. Flirt, bat your eyelashes, put on sexy undergarments, and please remember, you’ve got one life to be who you want to be. We’ve all heard it before, you are what you believe yourself to be, so believe that you are a MILF!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The Dos & Don'ts of the Summertime Mommy
- DO make sure you have sunscreen with you and apply evenly.
- DON'T have your teenage son's friend help you get the middle of your back. And while I'm at it, don't ask someone else's husband either.
- DO have outdoor gatherings with friends and family.
- DON'T have so many wine coolers that you can't find your rump OR your children and you're stumbling across the lawn calling your child's name and asking those around you if they've seen Billy.
- DO have a proper cover up that can take you from the pool to an outdoor cafe.
- DON'T confuse the meaning of casual attire for cut off, ripped up shorts and a bikini top. And if you DO get confused, at least make sure your rear isn't hanging out or that the holes in your shorts are not in inappropriate places.
- DO dress Mommy appropriate when in the company of many small children and teenaged boys.
- DON'T wear your thong on family beach days or wear skimpy clothing to the neighborhood barbecue. Wearing less than your teenage daughter makes for good gossip around the 'hood at your expense and embarrasses your children as they will find out from your neighbors kids what's being said about you.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Shameless Flaunting & the Bloggers Who LOVE Me!
Hello my dear Friend. Happy to see you again! Come on in and let me fill your cup...
I need to get this out in the open as I have been a very naughty girl! This past week I’ve been awarded the Stylish Blogger Award! How wonderful and I absolutely deserve it and Char over at The Epic Adventures of a Modern Mom thinks so too as she is the Stylish Blogger who recognizes my savvy style and my oh so clever ways with lipstick. Then a few days later, The Versatile Blogger Award came my way and Lindy over at Lindy Legends and Other Such Nonsense thinks I’m absolutely AWESOME, of course she does as Lindy and I are like minded!
Now for my naughty girl confession... I didn’t follow any of the rules that come along with accepting these awards. They’re my awards and I can do whatever I want with them, rules shmules! Then the devil and angel on my shoulder started arguing and the next thing you know, the angel swept the devil’s leg and put the sucker into a headlock! A few minutes later, my conscience is bothering me and now I’m ‘fessing up. Why, oh why must I be so perfect in every way? My goodness, I’m feeling a bit frazzled and I need to touch up my makeup!
The traditions of these awards are very similar. I’m supposed to tell you 7 things about myself that you didn’t know and then I’m supposed to link who gave it to me and then pass the award on to 7, 10, or 15 (depending on whose rules you’re looking at) blogs that I think is most fab and let them know. Then you’re supposed to check out my discoveries and hopefully make a new friend. PHEW!!!! This receiving an award business is hard work, I’d much prefer that my next award be a nice shade of mauve for my lips!
So here we go...
- I’m a gorgeous brunette
- My oldest child is 13
- Today my favorite lipstick is Estee Lauder in Tiramisu
- I love watching the birds playing in the fountain in my backyard
- I got carded twice in the past 3 months with the response of, “I would of never guessed that!” It made my day and now I’m a forever loyal customer.
- I live in South Orange County on the beachside of the 5 freeway, yes, it makes a difference, and nowhere near Coto De Caza (Coto is inland out in the boonies not at all close to the beach) where those supposed TV Housewives live.
- I am a homeschool Mommy
Okay, not so bad, my lipstick is still on... now I need to decide on some blogs, OH MY, I’ve got 2 awards to give away!!! How am I going to this? Of course I can do this, I’ll do it my way as I am quite capable and not easily deterred.
I’ve made three categories for these awards...
- For some of you, this is your first award... Congratulations as you deserve to be in the spotlight and show off your pure Diva-ness! Because there are 2 awards, choose the one that looks best on your blog and display it proudly!
- There are those of you who already have one of these fabulous awards, grab the other and know you are QUEEN!
- The last category is for those of you that already have both. What? Yes, you’re receiving both awards from me to remind you that you are still as fabulous as the first time you received these awards. Do nothing and just enjoy basking in the glory of your continuing success!
In no particular order, these blogs made me smile, got me thinking, or just made me laugh out loud. Please visit these blogs and let them know that I’ve sent you.
- Not So Silent Mommy
- Mommy Inconsistent
- The Zany Housewife
- One Mixed Bag
- Bring Mommy the Vodka
- The Frantic Ravings of a Mother
- The Suburban Princess Diaries
- Karen's Healthy Lifestyle
- Organic Enchilada
- Fork Fabrikationz
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Lipstick, Better Than Peanut Butter!
With summer around the corner, I like to keep my beauty routine to a bare minimum and instead, exude my natural exotic beauty with a few key items. I never said I was modest when it comes to how I look in the mirror... but hey, I DO love sharing beauty products that I can’t live without, at least until the next colorful lipstick rolls my way!