Thursday, August 4, 2011

Mommys Who Pretend They Don't Notice... This Post is for YOU!

Are we really gonna pretend we don't notice?
Hello my Dear Friend... I’ve been expecting you!  Come sit down and let me fill your cup.  I’ve made a very special blend of ‘She's a Mommy?’mixed with a nice bit of 'What was she thinking?'  Every now and then we need some reminders to help us on how not to behave when we take our kids shopping.  Yes, yes I do...I've got some Mommy Lessons headed your way...
My goodness... I can’t even begin to express my displeasure in the lack of parenting skills I‘ve been noticing in and around Orange County.  The casual attitude and lackadaisical demeanor is finding its way into everyplace from the malls to the grocery stores and truly, I have one word to describe these parents... Lazy.    
I can accept that kids will be kids and they will behave inappropriately at the exact inopportune moment.  I do understand as I have witnessed it first hand with my own little angel turning ever so quickly into the devil child with a long pointy tail.  Not a pretty sight.  But the one thing I have never done nor will I accept, is to become a lazy disciplinary parent that gives in to a child throwing a tantrum in the middle of Trader Joe’s.  I got the chance to witness this yesterday as I was standing in line behind a Mommy that kept saying, “NO!” as her 8(?) year old son screamed for a chocolate candy bar and she finally succumbed to his demands and paid for the darn bar.  Tssk, tssk, tssk... 
That Mommy needs to be reminded of how she needs to behave so she can set the example for her child to follow suit.  So let’s go over a few Mommy Lessons to make sure that we all behave accordingly so that our little duckys follow behind...
Lesson #1-  When the child is misbehaving in the store, Do Not give him a reward for his bad behavior.  The Trader Joe’s Mommy said, “No!”  If you say, “No!” then you have to stick with it and mean it.  Yes, it’s hard to do when a store full of people are watching your every move, but believe me, they will mentally applaud you and give you an imaginary high five when you stick to your guns and be the authority figure that you are.
Lesson #2- When the child is lying in the middle of the aisle and no one can pass by except to run the child over with their shopping cart, Do Not pretend you didn’t notice.  Pretending that you didn’t notice is like putting a big, neon sign on top of your head that reads, 'I’m a lazy Mommy and I would rather pretend not to notice what my child is doing then to confront him for his behavior.'
Lesson #3- When the child is misbehaving to a complete stranger, like the child standing behind me at the check out counter who deleted my transaction while I was putting my bank card away, Do correct him and make him apologize.  Do Not stand there in shock and awe or here we go with the pretend you didn’t notice look... say something!  Or at least if the child doesn’t apologize, you apologize for the child and discipline him first chance you get.  That’s what good Mommys do.  They set a good example.
Oh my, my lipstick is getting muddled from all these bad parenting moments and a pair of new shoes would make me feel... oh, so much better!  Yes, that’s what I’ll do.  New shoes for Caffe and maybe some lipstick too!  I'm done with these Mommy Lessons for today, and I see that your cup is empty, and... what?  You’re headed for the store?  No, you’re not lazy!  This was just a refresher lesson for those Mommys who need it and obviously you’re not one of them.  Of course you’re a GOOD Mommy!  Hugs to you Darling and try not to run over the kid laying in the middle of the aisle... Until next time... Ta Ta!

P.S. One week left of voting... would you be a kind Dear and please help me out by clicking that pink button up in the right hand corner and then vote?  It takes 30 seconds and I would be absolutely thrilled to stay in the top 5 with your help.  xoxo


  1. There are ALOT of bad parenting moments here in Florida! My lack there of a filter attitude corrects their mistakes quickly ha! I'm just trying to help;-)

  2. Standing up wth Royal applause!!!!

    Sharing this on Twitter b/c well there's some people who need to hear this

  3. you know i LOVE your blog. I read it daily. So, this is not easy for me to say.

    I have to disagree with #1. Before I was a parent I would be on board with you on this 110%. I really would. But having an autistic kid makes this one damn near impossible. Sometimes you can say no, and have it be the final word... and sometimes it doesn't work. The level of the meltdown that will ensue afterwards depends on the amount of "no's" they hear. Once they get it in their head that "i want this. i'm going to have this" nothing will change their mind.

    But for those god-damn, spoiled brats that have no excuse.... makes me ca-razee.

    i hope you don't hate me. i still love you. and i think a little opposition in life is good! helps us to know where we stand. =)

  4. Andrea Darling, rose colored glasses would match my lipstick perfectly! Cups Up! xoxo

    My Dear Lady B, thanks for the cheers! Off to powder my nose... xoxo

    My Darling Lisa, I COMPLETELY understand your point of view and I could never imagine being in your shoes or anyone else's that has a child that needs parents to have extra creative parenting skills. Lesson #1 is definitely not aimed at those parents.
    And my Dear, hate is really not in my vocabulary, especially when I watch all those cute little vlogs of you showing me how to mix a great cocktail! Cups Up and I'm blowing you extra kisses... xoxoxoxo

  5. Stumbled on your blog. Great post and I completely agree. One of these days I will run over a wee one with my shopping kart.

  6. Is it okay for me to pretend I don't see said brat lying in the middle of the aisle impeding my shopping experience? Oops, was that a speed bump?

  7. Welcome TM Darling, just came back from your ME page and you and I could be GREAT pals! Love your style... Cups Up! xoxo

    Hello my Lovely VV, as long as we're pretending... ka tunk... xoxo

  8. Brava....I live in an area in NCAL that is very sim. to the OC and yes some parents have become lazy. They do not do anything that is why some establishements are banning kids under 6 from even being there. I am a parent and I am disciplining the old fashion way and so far it is working. I am a new follower! Thanks for following me.....


  9. THANK you for being such a voice of reason. This mother and those like her, will REALLY be struggling when their kids are teenagers. Oy vey.

  10. You are so fun to read. And Lazy is right! I see a lot of lazy parenting around. I also remind myself that good parenting is often invisible because we rarely notice appropriate behavior since it's, well, appropriate. So when I'm upset at a naughty family, I will sometimes look around for better examples and I usually find them behaving nicely (but with a look on their faces like, "Can you believe that family over there?!"). And, yes, sometimes even the best parent will have a child with a melt down. It happens.

    Vapid Vixen, your speed bump comment was hilarious!

  11. Welcome my Dear C Mama, Thanks for stopping by and NOT being a lazy Mommy! Cups Up! xoxo

    M A Darling, by the time your kids are teens, you'll be that much BETTER! Off to fix my lipstick... xoxo

    Welcome back my Darling AOCM, yes, it's true, naughty Mommys are so more fun to write about than good Mommys... if they weren't so naughty, what would I write about? lol xoxo

  12.'s so much HARDER being a 'good' parent...I teach junior high, and it's the same in the classroom! If you say it, mean it!

  13. Yes!!! I completely agree with these! I think they should post your rules outside every restaurant and grocery store.

    I would never have bought my kids that chocolate bar. I just would have bribed him to stop his tantrum by promising him a cookie for when we got home. ;)

  14. Hello Jen Darling, I'm taking my bows now... lol... sometimes we just have to remind each other to stay on track so that we may all be fab Mommys, even the ones who don't mean it... Cups Up! xoxo

    My Dear GGM, cookie bribery works well for me, and then I have a cup of coffee! lol xoxo

    Well Anonymous, since you'll never be back anyway... I shall delete your comment... POOF!

  15. Hey, I see you are now #2 on the Top SoCal Mom Blogs contest by Circle of Moms! Way to go!!

  16. What a great post! I completely agree, that the lack of parenting skills is getting worse.
    Love the post and agree with all three points!
    Just recently did a post on parenting lessons learned that I think you like.

    Hopefully you still stop by and follow back
    btw: found you on bloggy moms

  17. Welcome my Dear Jenelle, You have Mommy Lessons? Wonderful! I'll be by just as soon as I fix my lipstick... xoxo

  18. Hi Caffe,
    I came back to see what the unhappy posted, but it is gone. She was probably a little defensive as you hit too close to home.

    Thanks for being out there and helping us all to be better at our jobs.

    Another Anonymous Mom, CQ

  19. Great post! It's so frustrating to see kids throwing tantrums and the parents doing nothing. But I try not to judge. I can see how it's easy to fall prey to just "giving in" so your kids will stop making a scene. But good training starts in the home and at a young age!


Hello Darling,

Have you seen the latest collection of lipstick colors?? Oooooh, I can't help myself! Thanks for stopping by... xoxo

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