Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Drive You DUMB Mommy DRIVE!

Well hello hello my Dear Darling Friend!  So FABulous that you stopped by... come make yourself comfy and let me fill your cup with a nice hot brew of, ‘Pay the Hell attention when you drive and put your stupid phone down!’  Hmmm... maybe that brew is a little toooo hot? Make sure you blow on it Dear, I don’t want you to burn yourself...

Keeping my gorgeous self fit is a must as I have a reputation to uphold, my long legs and tight abs are truly to die for!  One of my favorite ways to stay MILFy is by going out for an early morning run.  While running, I get to fantasize about getting locked in Sephora with no one there except me and every single lipstick... reds and plums... berries and pinks... corals and... huh?  Where did you come from?  OHhhh... that’s right, running!  I was getting there Darling... I just got a wee bit distracted!

Yes, yes running to stay my MILFyest!  The other morning I was making my way home back from my run when it happened... I, Caffeinated OC Mommy was a mere inch away from being flattened to the ground by some idiot Mommy who was not paying attention to me in the crosswalk, but looking at not her smart phone, but her DUMB phone!  What the heck?!  I saw my life and my  lipstick collection pass quickly before my eyes and at the same time... my feet were floating in midair doing a little jig to avoid the inevitable!  BUT... someone up above was looking out for moi as not a hair on my pretty little head was out of place when it was over and the only damage that occurred was my inability to breathe at that precise moment. 

So, listen up my Dear... do me a favor... I know you probably do, but just in case... put the phone down when you drive, it can wait until the car engine is turned off.  Drive safe for you, drive safe for your family and please drive safe when you see me fantasizing about my lipstick collection!  My cup is empty and all this talk about lipstick and fantasies has now motivated me to run quickly to the nearest lipstick aisle at my favorite place to buy peanut butter!  Off you go... Ta Ta for now Darling!  


  1. Eek! Scary! At least you're ok... Shame on bad mommy driving!

    1. It WAS scary Ana Darling! Now I wear neon like a flashback from the 80's and now trying to find a lipstick that matches... hmmmph! xoxo

  2. So glad you are ok! I just don't get it... .STILL? I guess people think they are the only ones who can drive safely while on the phone. NO! You are like everyone else. Thanks for the reminder!

  3. Did you kick her ass????!!!You want me to come down there? Glad you are Ok and this is an epidemic in my area no one pays attention anymore. What could be so friggin important that you need to text and drive....

  4. My beloved Sheldon moved to the OC last weekend. If you see her, be sure and give her a great big lipstick hung from me.

  5. Ditto everything you said - it's outa hand ... people these days - GEESH! Seriously though, anyone that's driving themselves isn't too importnat to put down their damn phone :) BTW, been cleaning up my "subscriptions" and came by to see if you were still up and running - glad you are!! :) Happy New Year!

  6. Very scary!!!!! So happy that you are alright.

  7. the only thing more fear-inducing to me than the dumb mommy-driver is sending your own teen out there to drive. Raising my hand, I have the heart-burn and the insurance rate hike to prove it.

    I also have on-star and can track how fast she drives. A win for tech!

    so far she is a slow driver.

    be safe out there, Caff!

  8. Hello!! I'm so sorry to ask you this in your comments, but I was wondering if you have an email address I could get a hold of! :) I have a quick question for you, being that you live in South Orange County (so do I!). If you could, I would love for you to email me here: nicole.cisneros1223@gmail.com - have a WONDERFUL rest of your Super Bowl Sunday night!


Hello Darling,

Have you seen the latest collection of lipstick colors?? Oooooh, I can't help myself! Thanks for stopping by... xoxo

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