Friday, May 11, 2012

Top 5 Things That Mommys Do That Make My Lipstick Smudge!


Hello hello my Darling Friend... Come sit down as I’ve got a topic that we need to revisit... hold on tight to that cup I’m about to fill up, as I’ve got some venting to do about poor parenting skills.  Hmmph... what is wrong with these Mommys lately?  Have they not read my previous Mommy Lessons?  What?  Oh yes, here... freshly brewed and quite heated, er, I mean HOT!
Have you noticed my Dear?  Have you noticed the quality or should I say, the lack of quality when it comes to being a good Mommy?  Where do these Mommys learn their parenting skills?  From the Real Housewives??  Sheesh, I can tell I’m gonna need a new lipstick after this little chat...
So here’s to new lipsticks!  Thank you very much... Now Darling, I know you know what I’m about to say and I know you’re not one of those... so please, just pass this post to that Mommy... you know... that Mommy?  Uh huh, the one who lets her 2 year old drink soda... the one who doesn’t watch her kid at the park and her back is turned... the one... oh alright already, let’s get started...
Top 5 Things That Mommys Do That Make My Lipstick Smudge!
#1- Feeding children chemically processed foods... you’ve seen it before, fake orange imitation cheese goop,  pretend healthy McDonald’s, red and blue # blah, blah, blah... artificial juice, OH, and let’s not forget soda!  How can a  good Mommy let her small child eat and drink foods that one can’t even pronounce the words on the label?  Rule of thumb... if you can’t identify or pronounce the words on the label, you probably don’t want to feed your most precious gift, manmade rubbish.
#2-  Letting the kids have full reign of the television.  Ummm... NO!  TV is not the same as it was when Gilligan’s Island and The Brady Bunch were all the rage.  The topics are spread far and wide, and most are NOT age appropriate.  Even the commercials of today are not suitable.  Does your child need to see a viagra add?  Or the upcoming highlights of the Dance Moms screaming at top lung?  Studies have shown that children cannot identify the difference between real and fantasy up until the age of seven years old.  Turn... the TV... off!
#3- Now that we just did the TV thing... same holds true for the radio.  Listen to the lyrics, you’d be surprised by how many songs are just not appropriate.  Now, I just adore a good MILFs night out, love all the naughty songs, however... there are many popular artists that are playing on the radio that no matter how many bleeps are in the song... does not belong in the environment of a young child’s ears.
#4- Ignoring their child’s persistent questions.  ANSWER THEM!!  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to throw my shoe at these Mommys!  These Mommys are teaching their own kids how to ignore somebody they love... to squash their child’s curiosity is a grave mistake made by many Mommys.  Yes, I know my Dear, it’s the same question over and over... but don’t make the child feel they can never come to you.  And that’s what’s going to happen when Mommys ignore their child.
#5-  When Mommys have no clue about safety issues.  This is the biggie for me Darling... as it should automatically be on the radar... but it’s not.  
I’ve seen a Mommy let her toddler play in the doorway of a busy restaurant while Mommy and company sat at a table nearby.  It was a heavy glass single door that connected to the street, the poor fingers or body even, that would get smashed in between the door and frame... or... the split second that the child decides that the street looked more interesting than the doorway. 
I’ve seen Mommys let their little ones stand in the seat part of the shopping cart while Mommy’s back is turned.  Oh no, don’t argue with me that these Mommys didn’t know... they knew perfectly well that their child was not strapped in!
Then there are the Mommys who go to a public restroom and the small child is standing in front of the door waiting... You stupid Mommy!  What are you gonna do when you’re sitting there on the pot with your panties around your ankles and you see your child’s feet suddenly disappear before your eyes??
It takes a blink of an eye for something horrible to happen and yet if common sense was used, none of the above issues would matter.  Sheesh... did these Mommys trade in their brains for a new baby?  I just don’t get it.
We’re already at five??  Goodness me, I could have rattled on another ten!  Shall I go... no, I’ll save it for another time.  Besides, I hear the lipstick counter calling my name, Caffe!  Ohhhhh Caffe!  Lipsticks await to calm your frazzled nerves....
See?  I knew I heard lipsticks calling me!  Well my Darling Friend, I know you’re an excellent Mommy and I know you would never do any of the above... Hey!  Why don’t you meet me at the lipstick counter and buy yourself a nice new shade to celebrate what a great Mommy you are?  Yes, good idea... We’ll just tell the Hubby it’s a gift in honor of being an excellent Mommy.  After all, we can always use a new lipstick for Mother’s Day...
Until next time my Lovely Friend... Have a Wonderful Mommy’s Day, even if your baby is a dog or a cat, or some goldfish... Ta Ta!  xoxo

14 comments:

  1. Yes, you could keep going with that list!!! My pet peeve is the cell phone attached to mom's ear. She is on a friggin' walk with her child, with all this opportunity for conversation and learning and connection, and she is ignoring her child to be on her cell phone. Grrrrr!!!

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    1. Oh yes Michael A Darling... the dreaded Mommy accessory glued to the left hip, the smart phone! I guess these Mommys need to be smart?? Hmmm... xoxo

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  2. I agree with the comment above me completely! Of course I've taken a call at the park on occasion, but I see so many moms (and dads!) there who are so engrossed in their phones that they barely interact with their kids! Grrr....

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    1. Hello Darling, it seems that I have a post between you and Michael A above... lol xoxo

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  3. I am guilty of a few of these and we sometimes go into tilt mode and our brain snaps and we are all human. I agree with the cell phone and restaurant. But my child has ridden the grocery cart not strapped in but I also keep a hawk eye on her to make sure she does not fall. Happy Mother'd day

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    1. You're FAB Darling, it's all about recognizing what we've done in the past and improving on it. I'd say you're pretty close to perfect... xoxo

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  4. Today at the mall I saw a woman letting her 2 or 3 year old ride up and down the escalator alone while she wanted for her at the bottom.....shocking. What a stupid b*tch.

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    1. And there are soooo many of them roaming around... xoxo

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  5. I agree with them all especially the last one!

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    1. Darling, you're a homeschool Mommy that sees things outside of the box... I KNOW you're a FAB Mommy... xoxo

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  6. Worst moms for me are the ones who let their little darlings run around screaming in a restaurant or crawl around under the table on the floor. Plus all of the above.

    Although, being fed a diet heavy in sugar and processed foods while driving around in a car with the windows rolled up and all the adults smoking while not wearing a seatbelt didn't seem to hurt me. But then, it's a miracle any of us survived the 50s. Oh, did I say 50s? I meant 60's. Ah, the hell with it. I'm old.

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    1. lol... My Darling Jayne, we live and learn, and I'm learning that no matter what age we are, we're resilient. Blowing you kisses my Dear Friend... XXXXX

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  7. I HATE when kids are allowed to sit up in the grocery cart!!!It scares the bejjezus out of me every single time!!!!

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    1. Wendy Darling, put on the blinders! I don't want this stupid Mommys upsetting your healthy pregnancy... xoxo

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Hello Darling,

Have you seen the latest collection of lipstick colors?? Oooooh, I can't help myself! Thanks for stopping by... xoxo

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