Hello my Dear Friend... As always it’s such a pleasure when you stop by for a visit! I’ve got a fresh blend of, ‘Are You Frickin' Kidding Me? STOP ignoring your kids!’ to fill your cup with... Yes indeed, Mommy Lessons are on the way... and here’s a heads up Darling... this pot is strong!
As always my Dear, YOU are exempt from these lessons as I know you are an absolutely FABulous Mommy... so just forward this lesson on to those Mommys who need it, as I know there are many! Now, let’s begin...
Mom, Mommy, Mother, Mama... whatever name that was given to you by your first born, please... please take your new name seriously! I can’t believe how many Mommys I see when I’m out and about that choose to not answer when their child is screaming calling for them. I know, I know... but it’s a phase Darling, and before you know it, your child won’t call you for anything! And then when you call your child, guess what? They’ll ignore you just like you’ve been ignoring them... my goodness... and then we’ll have another great communicator running for a senate seat!
Mommys who ignore what their child is doing at any given moment... this section is for you! I have names for Mommys in question and they usually fit under one of three labels: They are either ignorant, unaware, or just plain stupid. Oooh... I have an idea... Let’s see if you can categorize the following Mommy moments that I have witnessed in the recent past few weeks...
Mommy Moment #1- Letting their teething infant eat the paper label off a water bottle. Come on... which category would you put this Mommy in?
Mommy Moment #2- Toddler is being entertained by knocking over all the little goodies at the check out counter while Mommy is talking to cashier and not correcting her child. This one is a toughy as I forgot to include lazy ass disciplinary as one of the categories!
Mommy Moment #3- Mommy has four children, 5 years and under. Child #1 is running around and around the shopping cart, poking and teasing child #3 who is in the seat of the cart and child #2 who is standing in the middle of the basket trying to climb over the wobbly cart to get her revenge on child #1... where is Mommy? With her back turned not holding on to the cart, chatting with a store employee about how old her newest addition is (child #4 is in a snuggly carrier), blocking anyone who needs to get through. Hmmm... I’ll give this one a break as this Mommy must be sleep deprived and probably been walking around like the dead for quite some time now...
MM#1- Ignorant? No. I really don’t think this action has anything to do with not being educated. Unaware? Absolutely not. If you have an infant in an infant carrier, Mommy is looking directly at baby. Just plain stupid? Ding ding ding... Winner! Why on earth would you ever let your baby eat paper that has been chemically processed with ink and who knows what other harmful toxics that it took to make the label?
MM#2- I’ll give you this question as not all categories were present from the beginning. My point with MM#2? DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILD. A few stern words and a sharp look can stop a child in his tracks, but you have to be consistent.
MM#3- I’ll make this Mommy the object lesson... If one cannot keep their children safe out and about in a public place... DON’T HAVE ANYMORE KIDS until you can. This Mommy is the perfect example of an easy target for anyone to take a child and run. There is so much disorderly conduct and confusion which makes for a perfect cover... no one will even notice until it’s too late.
So... how did you do with this little exercise? Did it help? Are you seeing the big picture? Oh good, as it is my intentions to share my knowledge on what being a good Mommy is all about. And isn’t that the goal? To set an example worthy for our children to learn daily from the person they love and trust the most... their Mommy.
Well Darling, my cup is empty... but don’t worry, I’ll brew a new pot of Mommy Lessons in the very near future. Until then, stay focused and pay attention... you’ll be a FABulous Mommy in no time... Ta Ta!