Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Sheer Lipstick For Caffe? Unheard Of!!

Hello my Darling... It’s always a pleasure when you stop by!  Come on in and let me fill your cup...
Today I’ve got a completely different brew than what you are used to.  ‘Now what are you filling my cup up with this time Caffe?’  Well Lovey, my lipstick choice is a bit more on the sheer side lately, not quite as bold as I normally like to put on my pretty little pucker.  I’m feeling a bit... introspective.  
The other day I got a message through a new Facebook friend that took my breath away.  It wasn’t an old flame, it wasn’t a new flame, and it wasn’t another someone professing his undying love for me.  It was from someone I barely knew that happened to be on the flight I was working on... yes, gorgeous me was once a flight attendant and I, of course, attracted many!
Jerry had been searching for moi to thank me for the kind words of encouragement that I had given him 17 years ago when he was about to see his Grandfather for the very last time in the hospital.  With sadness in his heart, he knew that with his family, they would be making a decision wether to pull the plug, or not.
Now Darling, there’s no need for any further details.  I just wanted to remind you, that the words and actions that we say or do on a daily basis, means something to someone.  I was ever so fortunate to be reminded of this by my new, Dear Friend, Jerry.
My Darling Friend, YOU are dear to me, and I just want to let you know that.  Your comments always put a smile on my face and I walk away with a much lighter step and I hope that when you come to visit, I put a smile on your pretty face as well.

My cup is empty and I’m now going to hug my children and tell them how much I love them.  When the Hubby gets home from work, I’ll do the same for him and thank him for working so hard today.  
When all is said and done, I know that my words and my actions will stay in their hearts forever... So I'd better make it count!  Ta Ta my Sweet, until we meet again!  xoxo  

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Excuse Me? Are YOU Moooving?

Hello my Dear Friend... SO happy you’re here!  I know, I know, it’s been awhile and I’ve been neglecting you my Darling, and your cup has been empty for quite some time... I’ve been rearranging my lipstick collection and I’ve lost track of all my senses!  You know I can’t restrain myself around all those fabulous tubes of color... Iced Plum, Sensual Scarlet, Pretty in Pink... aaaack!  Oh my!  I’m ready to go back to the store for more!  ‘Control yourself Caffe!’
Oh, alright, enough about my lipstick obsession... How about a fresh pot of, ‘Parking Lot Safety‘ to fill your cup?  I think you’ll enjoy this blend... 
What is it about pulling into the parking lot of either Target, Costco, or Trader Joe’s that have Mommys losing their abilities to make sound judgements?  Is there some sort of vortex that once you've cross the invisible driveway line, you become brainless?  
Maybe it’s the summer heat that is affecting some of these Mommy brains, whatever the case may be, these poor Mommys are in need of a firm reminder of how to behave safely in a public parking lot.  So I'm here to remind them...
When using the crosswalk with your little ones in tow and a new baby in the cart, DO complete your mission to get to the other side safely.
DO NOT stop 3/4 of the way in the crosswalk because you’ve run into a friend who hasn’t seen the new baby and now you’re having conversation and showing off the new baby while those of us in the car are waiting for you and would like very much to honk the horn (but I am much to kind as I didn’t want to startle your new baby) at your ridiculous judgement that is unsafe for your new baby and the toddlers around your ankles.... PHEWW!  Was that a run on my Dear?  I’m having self control issues today...  
DO be aware of cars driving through the aisles and teach your children to pay attention as well.  Safety should always be at the forefront when in a public parking lot.
DO NOT walk out into the aisle with your child without looking over your shoulder to see if maybe a big Suburban is driving toward you and now screeching on the brakes (okay, not really, but, it could happened) and the two of you continue to mosey along the middle of the aisle as if it’s a Sunday stroll on the boardwalk with an ocean breeze caressing your cheeks.  
Maybe if I ran them over, I could set a precedent for other oblivious Mommys.  But again, I am a good Mommy, and I need to show my fine, exemplary behavior to my children as I am teaching them how to deal with brainless people.  And you know how many there are!
I think there should be cattle crossing signs at all Targets.  Wouldn't it be fun if a Target employee of the month gets to dress up like a cowboy, put on a red Target shirt, has a lasso and rides a horse rounding up all those slooooooooooow and unsafe Mommys in the crosswalk?  I would go to Target just to watch the round up!
Well my Dear, my cup is empty and I need to get back... to buy more... ‘No!  I can control myself...’ Hmmmph.  I figured since we were talking about brainless Mommys, you know, I thought about new lipsticks.  Unsafe Mommys in the crosswalk= lipstick from Target!  Did I mentioned that I’m obsessed?  Until next time my Darling... Ta Ta!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Where Oh Where is Caffe?

Hello Darling, I know you've been checking in on me... wondering where I am and why I haven't been filling your cup... I have had an extraordinary week of activities from winning awards, attending many social events, being interviewed and asked to participate in so many writing circles that I think I just need to go... shoe shopping... or better yet, I should buy a dozen lipsticks at my favorite place to purchase peanut butter!

I'll be back to fill your cup after I have replenished my makeup drawer... Ta Ta my Dear!  xoxo 

Monday, August 15, 2011

Bellybutton... Meet Your New Best Friends

Well Hello Darling... So glad you’re here!  I’ve got a special blend brewing for you today... it’s a little bit of sexy mixed with a pinch of gracefulness to fill your cup.
 I got the opportunity Friday night to look my MILFyest on my Hubby’s arm and accompany him to the spectacular Ritz Carlton for an annual social event for his company’s industry.  The mood of the event was a casual elegance that set high upon the bluffs overlooking the Pacific Ocean.
Enough about the venue and Pacific Ocean my Dear... let’s talk about my dress!  To be the MILFyest of the MILFs I picked a metallic gray, draped to there, halter, looow back dress... absolutely stunning!  I had the sales gal swooning, the tailor lost her breath, and the mirror before me told me that I looked divine‘SOLD!... to the MILF in the 2nd dressing room!’
Pulling up to the hotel’s valet, I realized an important detail that I had forgotten to scratch off my mental checklist when purchasing a sexy new dress... the lean forward test.
Coming to a halt curbside, I am frantically leaning forward looking down my nose into my chest to see how far down my dress reveals for anyone who happens to be in a one mile radius around my gorgeous self... hmmm... I see my neckline... my chest... OH, my bellybutton and beyond!  How delightful.    
Dear me, I am seconds away from the car door opening and suddenly, that dream of me  balancing two giant Cokes on a tray with 2 pieces of Sbarro's broccoli cheese pizza in the middle of the food court at the lunch time rush when a friend sneaks up behind me, pulls down my pants, steps on my waistband and screams at full lung, "Check me out!" entered the forefront of my mind as I see the valet reaching for the door handle.

Do I do the shimmy side to side maneuver to get out of this slammed to the ground sports car?  Nah, my dress is knee length and showing off my gorgeous legs is never a problem.  It's the coming out party for my navel that has got my lipstick in a smudge...  
I know!  I’ll hold my wonderful drape close together with one hand, reach for the helping hand with the other... wait a second, what about my purse and shawl?  I must have missed that chapter on, 'Short Dress, High Heels... The Art of Getting Out of a Car'...  Hmmm, this is harder than I had previously anticipated!   
Yes Darling, I did finally get out of the car.  I’m not sure how I pulled it off without the whole world viewing my navel and beyond, but I must have done it ever so gracefully, as the valet and those around him wouldn’t stop staring and grinning at my lovliness... 

Oh look, my cup is empty... I think I'll look up 'graceful car exit strategies' on Google.  Maybe they'll have a picture of me from Friday night!  Until next time my Sweet... Ta Ta!   

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Me?? Again?? I'm SOoo Fabulous!

Hello my Dear Friend... Come on in and let me pour you a nice cup of, ‘It’s good to be me and I’m so very thankful.’
Oh my goodness, I can’t even begin to tell you how extremely busy this past week has been!  From the final week of the Top 25 contest that ended on Thursday, the big social event on Friday night that I needed to be extra MILFy on my Hubby’s arm, a dual Swiffer birthday party Saturday night and family visiting from out of town.... PHEW... I need to get to the spa!  
Just when I thought I would be able to catch my breath...wham!... I get awarded the Versatile Blogger Award, not once, but twice within a 24 hour period!  I am completely honored that more and more of my fellow bloggers recognize how truly wonderful I am, but what to do about these awards when I have already received it from my Darling Lindy over at Lindy Legends and Other Such Nonsense?
Blog Awards are an honor and it is something I don’t take lightly... I mean after all, another blogger recognizes my fabulous self and rightly so, they want to honor me.  So with any award I receive I will do what I do best... change the rules!
Because I have already received this award, the new rules are that I am exempt from passing it on and all the rules that go with... EXCEPT giving a thank you to those who have passed it on to me.  So if you get the chance, please visit these Dear Mommys who obviously have excellent taste when it comes to choosing... Moi! 
The first thank you goes to my Dear... Ciao Mama’s over at Mommy Bags....   And one more thanks to Jennifer over at mamawolfe.  Thanks Darlings for thinking of me!  xoxo
My cup is empty and I need to shoo you off so I can recoup and take a much needed spa relaxation break from this week's hectic schedule... so off you go... Until next time my Darling... Ta Ta!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Results Are In...

Hello my Lovely Friend... Soooo happy to have you here!
Normally, I fill your cup, but this time, you have filled mine.  I got an email from the wonderful Julie over at CircleofMoms.com congratulating me on making the Top 25... 2nd place to be exact and I could have never done that without you Darling.  Thank you, and I’m blowing kisses your way...
My Cup is Up!!  xoxo

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Judge Me... Judge Me Not...

Hello my Dear Friend, so glad you’re here!  Today’s pot is a fresh brew of, ‘Angry Mommy who Comments Anonymously.’
I so enjoy basking in the limelight of literary outrageousness.  How can one not know about my brazen writing style when even my post titles have eyeopening  descriptives such as Butt Crack, Contraceptives, Monkey Repellent and Floozy?  It’s always a jaw dropping moment whenever you need your cup filled by Caffe!  Let’s face it Darling, that’s one of the many reasons why you stop by to visit.  You never know what type of brew I’ll be serving up on any particular day! 
Observe and Comment, it says that on my blog button and quite frankly, that’s one of the reasons why I started this blog.  I do like to stir up the pot and see what kind of reaction I can get and my most recent post has definitely brought the bitter bottom of the pot right to the top.  Yes my Dear Friend... sniffle, sniffle... I received my very first non liker comment!
Anonymous does not appreciate my O&C gorilla tactics that I like to use on bad Mommy behaviors.  Bad parenting is one of those subjects that can seem rather personal (if taken that way) to those that may see a reflection on what I’m commenting on.  Oooh, ouch Lovey!
That Little Ol Me could provoke such an unfavorable comment from someone unknown can only mean one thing... I’m Fabulous Darling!!  To evoke an emotion, good or bad, must mean I’m doing something right in my posts, and as the saying goes, “There’s no such thing as bad press!”
My observations are merely observations, and just because I comment on it and it may sound oh, soooo... familiar, it’s still,  just an observation... 
Why looky here, my cup is empty... I need to fix my lipstick and I think I’ll head to the nearest shopping mall and do what I do best... O&C!  Until next time my Dear Friend... Ta Ta!

P.S. There's only 2 more days of voting!  If you can please help a gal out and click on that little pink circle that's in the top right hand corner then click to vote.  It takes less time than I can fix my lipstick... You have been so kind in keeping Moi in 2nd place!  xoxo

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Mommys Who Pretend They Don't Notice... This Post is for YOU!

Are we really gonna pretend we don't notice?
Hello my Dear Friend... I’ve been expecting you!  Come sit down and let me fill your cup.  I’ve made a very special blend of ‘She's a Mommy?’mixed with a nice bit of 'What was she thinking?'  Every now and then we need some reminders to help us on how not to behave when we take our kids shopping.  Yes, yes I do...I've got some Mommy Lessons headed your way...
My goodness... I can’t even begin to express my displeasure in the lack of parenting skills I‘ve been noticing in and around Orange County.  The casual attitude and lackadaisical demeanor is finding its way into everyplace from the malls to the grocery stores and truly, I have one word to describe these parents... Lazy.    
I can accept that kids will be kids and they will behave inappropriately at the exact inopportune moment.  I do understand as I have witnessed it first hand with my own little angel turning ever so quickly into the devil child with a long pointy tail.  Not a pretty sight.  But the one thing I have never done nor will I accept, is to become a lazy disciplinary parent that gives in to a child throwing a tantrum in the middle of Trader Joe’s.  I got the chance to witness this yesterday as I was standing in line behind a Mommy that kept saying, “NO!” as her 8(?) year old son screamed for a chocolate candy bar and she finally succumbed to his demands and paid for the darn bar.  Tssk, tssk, tssk... 
That Mommy needs to be reminded of how she needs to behave so she can set the example for her child to follow suit.  So let’s go over a few Mommy Lessons to make sure that we all behave accordingly so that our little duckys follow behind...
Lesson #1-  When the child is misbehaving in the store, Do Not give him a reward for his bad behavior.  The Trader Joe’s Mommy said, “No!”  If you say, “No!” then you have to stick with it and mean it.  Yes, it’s hard to do when a store full of people are watching your every move, but believe me, they will mentally applaud you and give you an imaginary high five when you stick to your guns and be the authority figure that you are.
Lesson #2- When the child is lying in the middle of the aisle and no one can pass by except to run the child over with their shopping cart, Do Not pretend you didn’t notice.  Pretending that you didn’t notice is like putting a big, neon sign on top of your head that reads, 'I’m a lazy Mommy and I would rather pretend not to notice what my child is doing then to confront him for his behavior.'
Lesson #3- When the child is misbehaving to a complete stranger, like the child standing behind me at the check out counter who deleted my transaction while I was putting my bank card away, Do correct him and make him apologize.  Do Not stand there in shock and awe or here we go with the pretend you didn’t notice look... say something!  Or at least if the child doesn’t apologize, you apologize for the child and discipline him first chance you get.  That’s what good Mommys do.  They set a good example.
Oh my, my lipstick is getting muddled from all these bad parenting moments and a pair of new shoes would make me feel... oh, so much better!  Yes, that’s what I’ll do.  New shoes for Caffe and maybe some lipstick too!  I'm done with these Mommy Lessons for today, and I see that your cup is empty, and... what?  You’re headed for the store?  No, you’re not lazy!  This was just a refresher lesson for those Mommys who need it and obviously you’re not one of them.  Of course you’re a GOOD Mommy!  Hugs to you Darling and try not to run over the kid laying in the middle of the aisle... Until next time... Ta Ta!

P.S. One week left of voting... would you be a kind Dear and please help me out by clicking that pink button up in the right hand corner and then vote?  It takes 30 seconds and I would be absolutely thrilled to stay in the top 5 with your help.  xoxo

Monday, August 1, 2011

Is Mommys' Night Out Important? Go Ask the Swiffers!

Hello my Darling, back so soon? Oh you think I don’t know... but I know what you want and why you’ve come back so quickly... you want to hear all about my night out with the Swiffers! Ha! Well you’ve come at the right time as I’ve got a fresh pot of ‘Mommys’ Night Out’ to fill your cup...

I just adore having a night out with the galz, and last Thursday was a night to remember. We all met up at Riptide Sushi over at Kaleidoscope in Mission Viejo, and let me tell you... the galz were looking HOT! So hot in fact that the bartenders were ignoring all their other customers and the stares and the glares of those sitting near us were aiming in our direction.  My, my, if you ever want the bartenders’ attention, the husbands sneaking a peek, and the women giving you their best sneer, just show up with 20 of your MILFyest friends and watch all of the side shows come to life.

Have you gone on a Mommys’ Night Out since the last time I asked?  You do remember that I said it was important, right?  Well it is, and let me reiterate from that last conversation that we had a few months back...

#1- There Are No Kids! How’s that for a start?  We all love our children, but sometimes we just have to feel young and sexy and preMommyish... do you know what I mean?  Of course you do!  So put on your CFM shoes, wear your see through baby doll top with your ripped up stripper jeans (Gurl... you know who I’m talking about!), and behave wild and free, guilt free because there is no wrong in feeling sexy and confident around your Galz!

#2- Instant Therapy. There was LOTS of therapy going on Thursday night, advice and hugs were going all around.  Conversations of kids becoming adults, marriages reconciling, new divorcee and her exciting new sex life, court litigation with a soon to be ex... oh yeah, you name it, we talked about it, then we held our glass in the air and toasted to a new day... There is not one couch out there that is more helpful than a group of MILFs sharing a bottle (or 2, maybe 3... okay I don’t remember how many bottles!) of wine together and exchanging views with each other... good or bad, we toasted, we hugged and we refilled our glasses.

#3- Laugh Out Loud Fun! This is pretty self explanatory and I don’t think you need examples of this.  Some lol moments from Thursday night you ask?  Now that my Dear Friend, will get me and a few others into trouble!  I am not going to talk about the Peter Penis song that was serenaded to Dr. R at Derby’s.  I will not talk about taking back the $20 bill out of the tip jar because the request for a song was not honored in a timely manner.  I most certainly will not speak a word about the type of dancing these so called Mommys were doing with the bar rail... And I for sure am not going to tell you about those poor, poor boys that had no idea that they just walked into a Lion’s Den (let’s change Lion into Cougar instead) when all they wanted to do was follow us to the next happening spot on our path. Oh no... no I will not, besides, my cup is empty and looky here, we drank the whole pot! 

“But Caffe, you’re just getting to the good stuff!”  I know my Darling, but being the Caffeinated OC Mommy that I am, a good cuppa and a quick tease keeps one coming back for more... and you know I brew a delicious blend!  So until next time my Lovely, I expect you to go out and enjoy a good Mommys’ Night Out and when you do, remember this... Cups Up! xoxo
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