Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Excuse Me? Are YOU Moooving?

Hello my Dear Friend... SO happy you’re here!  I know, I know, it’s been awhile and I’ve been neglecting you my Darling, and your cup has been empty for quite some time... I’ve been rearranging my lipstick collection and I’ve lost track of all my senses!  You know I can’t restrain myself around all those fabulous tubes of color... Iced Plum, Sensual Scarlet, Pretty in Pink... aaaack!  Oh my!  I’m ready to go back to the store for more!  ‘Control yourself Caffe!’
Oh, alright, enough about my lipstick obsession... How about a fresh pot of, ‘Parking Lot Safety‘ to fill your cup?  I think you’ll enjoy this blend... 
What is it about pulling into the parking lot of either Target, Costco, or Trader Joe’s that have Mommys losing their abilities to make sound judgements?  Is there some sort of vortex that once you've cross the invisible driveway line, you become brainless?  
Maybe it’s the summer heat that is affecting some of these Mommy brains, whatever the case may be, these poor Mommys are in need of a firm reminder of how to behave safely in a public parking lot.  So I'm here to remind them...
When using the crosswalk with your little ones in tow and a new baby in the cart, DO complete your mission to get to the other side safely.
DO NOT stop 3/4 of the way in the crosswalk because you’ve run into a friend who hasn’t seen the new baby and now you’re having conversation and showing off the new baby while those of us in the car are waiting for you and would like very much to honk the horn (but I am much to kind as I didn’t want to startle your new baby) at your ridiculous judgement that is unsafe for your new baby and the toddlers around your ankles.... PHEWW!  Was that a run on my Dear?  I’m having self control issues today...  
DO be aware of cars driving through the aisles and teach your children to pay attention as well.  Safety should always be at the forefront when in a public parking lot.
DO NOT walk out into the aisle with your child without looking over your shoulder to see if maybe a big Suburban is driving toward you and now screeching on the brakes (okay, not really, but, it could happened) and the two of you continue to mosey along the middle of the aisle as if it’s a Sunday stroll on the boardwalk with an ocean breeze caressing your cheeks.  
Maybe if I ran them over, I could set a precedent for other oblivious Mommys.  But again, I am a good Mommy, and I need to show my fine, exemplary behavior to my children as I am teaching them how to deal with brainless people.  And you know how many there are!
I think there should be cattle crossing signs at all Targets.  Wouldn't it be fun if a Target employee of the month gets to dress up like a cowboy, put on a red Target shirt, has a lasso and rides a horse rounding up all those slooooooooooow and unsafe Mommys in the crosswalk?  I would go to Target just to watch the round up!
   
Well my Dear, my cup is empty and I need to get back... to buy more... ‘No!  I can control myself...’ Hmmmph.  I figured since we were talking about brainless Mommys, you know, I thought about new lipsticks.  Unsafe Mommys in the crosswalk= lipstick from Target!  Did I mentioned that I’m obsessed?  Until next time my Darling... Ta Ta!

23 comments:

  1. I feel like we're the same person. Do you ever notice how people push carts like they drive?? One time in the supermarket someone totally cut us off with their cart. My husband mutters, "Figures. They're Asian." (his father-in-law is also Asian, so he can get away with that joke....my dad drives like a lunatic. A little Asian lunatic.) Anyhow, its nice to catch up on your blog! I've been away for quite some time so that I can make people fat. I hope that you're well!! Don't stop writing and I won't stop laughing!

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  2. LOVE the cattle crossing sign idea for Target!

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  3. Parking lots have become very very dangerous places. I am always afraid I am going to run over a loose child. I have gotten into the habit of parking way out at the end. I need the exercise and it is safer!
    I am a new visitor and follower via Wild Wednesday..

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  4. My favorite part about parking in our local Target is the special 'hybrid' parking spaces I get to use...they're right in front!
    http://mamawolfe-living.blogspot.com

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  5. Great post, as always! It's not just parking lots, as I'm sure you are very aware because yu are savvy like that. It's a general lack of awareness of others around them. They are the center of the universe, after all. Awareness of others is a good thing to teach our children! Thanks for the post!
    http://thebiggreenbowl.blogspot.com
    http://thinkinginmyheadma.blogspot.com

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  6. Miranda Darling... Thrilled to see you again! Happy to hear that your cupcakes are a hit... Blowing Kisses... xoxo

    My Dear HJ, I think we belong to the same church... lol xoxo

    Well Hello AOCM Darling! Wouldn't cattle crossing signs be a hoot? I can just imagine the look on all those Mommys' faces! lol xoxo

    Welcome Doreen Darling, Thanks for the follow, I'll stop by your place just as soon as I fix my lipstick... xoxo

    Hello my Dear Jennifer, hybrid parking? Where do I get my special pass? lol xoxo

    Michael A Darling, Is there something in the coffee that's making Mommys so unaware? Hmmmm... But I AM aware of your fabulous Almond Roca Squares recipe you've got on your site right now... MMMmmmmm! xoxo

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  7. LOL at the cattle crossings at Target. :-)

    I am a new follower from the Wild Wednesday Hop.
    Vicky @ messforless.blogspot.com

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  8. LMAO! I swear people are completely oblivious and have NO common sense!

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  9. Welcome Vicky Darling, Glad I made you smile! Thanks for the follow Dear, I'll be by your place just as soon as I fix my lipstick... xoxo

    Well, well, well... Brit Darling! So nice that you're here and LYAO! Stay well, and I'm glad you're feeling better... blowing kisses... xoxo

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  10. Thanks for stopping by Life With Two Boys and linking up at Blogging Buddies Thursday! I hope you'll stop by again next week :)

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  11. Yes, I'm coming to visit you. Little ol YOU.

    lol

    I hoped you feel better after venting all that all out, because you're doing a lot of good posting this. Honestly. It's amazing how many parents who are educated about child safety would somehow forget/ignore/temporarily lose their memory when they are walking with their children in parking lots.

    There's something about parking lots that gives you a false sense of safety. Maybe it's because it's not a 'street' with a name, maybe because of the word 'parking'?

    In actuality, I've seen some of the craziest and death-ifying kinds of driving IN parking lots. Heck, one time my car was hit by an elderly woman, who somehow couldn't see that there was a car behind her, waiting in line. Bam, she just reversed as if me and my car wasn't there. And then you know what? This elderly woman actually did a hit and run! As I drove my car to the side, she just continued to reverse and then zoomed away. What the...?!?!?

    Ok, enough blabbering. Parents, treat parking lots just like any other busy streets, will ya?

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  12. Since we're on the topic of parking lots I have to add that a Prius backed right into my son as we were walking to our car. It was silent! No, we weren't hurt because I yelled and the person braked just as the back of the car touched my son. So, please, if you drive an electric car, be extra EXTRA careful to look behind you. There is no noise to warn others.

    Of course, any person backing up a car should be extra, extra careful to look behind them.

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  13. Like they say, Common sense isn't so common;-)

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  14. I like the cowboy cattle crossing Target employee idea. I think said employees should also be equipped with a cattle prod. The electric taser kind.

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  15. Danielle Darling, I will be there again... if you can get me out of the cosmetic aisle at Target! xoxo

    Welcome DSTSS!!! Love your novel Darling, looks like you had much to vent about as well... lol Cups Up my Dear! xoxo

    Why thank you my Dear Crystal and thank you for stopping by... Cups Up! xoxo

    Andrea Darling, YOU are a homeschool Mommy! : ) xoxo

    OMGosh!! What a fabulous ideas my Dear VV! Love your wicked sense of humor... Blowing kisses... xoxo

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  16. Oh Darling AOCM... How did I miss you? I guess just like the Prius that backed into your son... OUCH! Glad he wasn't hurt... xoxo

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  17. So true! The same can be said for inside the stores. Where I live there are always kids running around the aisles and or just in the way with their mothers not minding them at all! Drives me crazy. When I was little we had to stay right at my mothers side and not touch anything. I'm a new follower from the Tuesday blog hop. Please check out my blog http://www.kristy-s-place.blogspot.com/

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  18. The sign brought back memories of smart ass remarks while traveling (and yes, most from me.) Bear X, deer x, cattle x. Do these animals really read. The only time we think about watching out for animals is when the sign is in our eyesight. lol

    Love your blog and I'm a new GFC follower from blogaholic. I put your post on My Life. One Story at a Time. on Face book to share. Hope you'll have a moment to visit and follow my blog. I write book reviews and stories about my crazy life. Hope to see you soon. Donna
    http://mylife-in-stories.blogspot.com

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  19. LOL, You're absolutely right Kristy Darling! Parenting skills have taken a nose dive and I'm here to remind those Mommys to put their chin's up and breathe! Thanks for the follow my Dear... following back... xoxo

    Hello Donna Darling, Welcome,welcome! I'm so happy I was able to conjure up memories of smart ass comments... lol... Thanks for following Lovey, now following you back... xoxo

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  20. Oh sweetie thank heavens we are on opposite coasts as I don't think either one could handle our combined insightfulness...

    Just yesterday a mom and toddler were walking soo slow down the middle of the aisle. When they got to the end she finally looked over my shoulder and winked...seriously lady you don't know if I'm on my meds or not@@@

    As always you brighten my day
    Royal Air Kisses your way

    And congrats on the Butterfly Award,,, though I think we should see some lipsticks somewhere

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  21. Lady B Darling, YOU always make my day! Blowing kisses your way... xoxo

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Hello Darling,

Have you seen the latest collection of lipstick colors?? Oooooh, I can't help myself! Thanks for stopping by... xoxo

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