Yes, my trip to the tropics was absolutely divine! The sunsets, the Mai Tais, ohhhh, and yes, my red lipstick was perfect for catching the bartenders attention when I needed a refill. If only I didn't have to come back and fill my obligations to the shopping boutiques so soon...
You know, it really doesn't matter how far you travel, you can always spot awful parenting the same way you can spot a pair of Jimmy Choo knock offs... Horrendous I tell you! Even the tropical trade winds couldn't blow away the bad behavior of the naughty Mommys that were sitting within ear shot of my cabana, a bit to close for my comfort zone. So when the time comes and you've decided to go globe trotting with the little ones in tow, please keep in mind the little bit of Mommy advice & etiquette that I'm giving you today.
* Notorious B.I.G. does not sing children's lullabies.
* Cackling at 2 am and shouting words such as, "Fu#k yeah, hand me another beer!" is not conducive for pleasant dreams for the little ones OR your neighbors that happen to have their windows open enjoying the night air.
* 3 packs of opened cigarettes, a full ashtray and last night's beer cans sitting on the outside table next to the pink water wings does not make for a pretty table arrangement.
* And finally, if you want to behave like the Jersey Shore cast, please do so in JERSEY and leave your kids at Nana and Papa's house!
Well looky here, the pot is empty and I do have to fix my lipstick. I'm going to shoo you off for now so I can unpack my bikinis and put away my favorite perfume. Come back again and I'll fill your cup with more smiles. Ta Ta!